Son of Ayla part 1
by ayla2004
Summary: Ayla takes her son with her, and they find a sheltered valley. Ura, Durc's promised mate-to-be, and her mother are cast out, and wander towards the valley. Meanwhile, Jondalar and Thonolan's journey draws to a close.
1. Default Chapter

Ayla gathered the last of her things and looked at Uba, who held Durc close to her. She tore her eyes away from Durc and folded up Creb's traveling tent into a pouch to hold all her things together. She put it in her large gathering basket. She picked it up and put it on her back, then adjusted the leather band that went across her forehead to help carry the load.  
  
She straightened up and looked at the members of Brun's Clan - Broud's Clan now, she reminded herself. Do I really want to leave my son with Broud as leader? she thought. Broud stepped toward her as if to hurry her along, then stepped back, embarrassed to be seen acknowledging someone who was supposed to be dead. She stared into Broud's eyes, then turned away.  
  
She walked next to Brun, making a gesture of "Walk with Ursus". She was grateful for all he had done to help her, even though it had been so unconventional to help an Others child. She picked up one of his heavy spears that lay near where he stood. He affected not to notice.  
  
She gave Uba a hug, motioning, "You will always be my sister. I must go now." She noticed that Uba's wrap fit tightly over her stomach, and continued, "You will have your own baby soon." Uba nodded, then said one word aloud, "Go."  
  
She took Durc from Uba's arms. Vorn put a hand on Ayla's arm as if to stop her, then looked into her eyes. He released his hold, then ruffled Durc's hair gently and turned to comfort his mate.  
  
Ayla walked away then, gently cradling her son in one arm while using the spear, point down, as a walking stick in the other hand. Durc fell asleep within the first hour of walking, lulled by the repetitive motion.  
  
*  
  
"Where are we going, Mama?" Durc motioned that evening. He was awake now, and hungry. Ayla wanted something to eat too, and was thinking of stopping soon.  
  
"North," Ayla replied, eying some birds that were flying overhead within range of her sling.  
  
"To find the ones that look like you?"  
  
"Yes. Quiet, now, and stay still," Ayla gestured. She grabbed some stones and her sling. She flung two rocks, and one hit a bird. The duck tumbled out of the sky to land with a thud.  
  
Ayla picked it up. Durc grabbed the bird from her and held it by the feet. Ayla cleaned the smooth stones with grass and put them back in the pouch attached to the thong that held her wrap closed. She then took the bird back from Durc's hands.  
  
As soon as his hands were free, Durc asked, "Are we going to stop soon, Mama? I'm hungry."  
  
"Yes, we are. We shouldn't cross that river that's a short walk ahead until morning anyway. We don't want to get cold and wet and then try to sleep like that."  
  
"Where are we going to find wood for a fire?"  
  
She put her son down and motioned, "I'll go look for some by the river. You stay here and stamp down some grass for our camp. Take these stones and if any animal comes near, yell and throw these at it. I'll be right back."  
  
She hated leaving her son alone, even for a moment while she looked for wood by the riverbank. Women of the Clan never left their children unattended. But I am not Clan anymore, and I gave him stones to protect himself with, she reminded herself. What am I going to do for fire, she thought. Finding wood on the steppes is so difficult. I wish Goov were here with that coal he always carried. She put it out of her mind and gathered the driftwood that she could find, then returned to her son.  
  
She tickled him, and he giggled. "You're a big help, look at the big space for a camp you made. Dinner will be ready soon." She sat to make a fire, getting out her fire platform and some materials that she had stored in a fold of her wrap. When her hands reached the bottom of the fire stick, Durc tried to help keep the friction that was on the platform going. A tiny spark formed, but not enough. Ayla sighed, told him to pluck the bird for her instead, and began the process again.  
  
She and Durc ate, and then she banked the fire. Durc lay down on her furs and drifted off to sleep. She sat up for a while more, looking at the stars.  
  
She remembered Creb telling her about the fires in the sky, and picked out her totem's fires from the others. She wondered if her totem was still with her. She asked the Cave Lion to help her and her son survive, then laid down next to Durc and went to sleep.  
  
Ayla and Durc journeyed for days. She watched the seasons shift into fall, and started wondering where the Others were. They had reached the place where Iza had told Ayla to go, and there wasn't any evidence of people.  
  
"Mama, look! A antelope horn like the one Goov carried. Why don't you get it, then we won't have to search for firemaking things all the time."  
  
Ayla examined the antelope skeleton near a pool of water. She bent over, scooped up some water, and tried to drink. She spit it out immediately.  
  
"This water is bad, we'll have to keep going, but we can rest for a while," she told him, then put him down on the grass. Before reaching for a wooden peg, stone, and the antelope horn, she warned, "Don't go too far."  
  
She put the horn against a rock, then put the peg against where the horn connected to the skull. With a sharp blow, she got the horn and put it in a fold of her wrap, making a mental note to find moss to pack the coal in later.  
  
*  
  
The next day, the first thing Ayla noticed was the wind starting to pick up speed. Durc sat up next to her and spit out some grit.  
  
"Do we have to keep going? The wind is blowing dirt into the tent, and its probably worse outside. Can't we rest for a day?" Durc whined.  
  
"No. We have to find people before winter. Get a spare fur out of my basket and wrap it over your mouth. I'll carry you," Ayla told him.  
  
After a breakfast of tea and traveling food, they set out. Ayla had a fur wrapped over her mouth and nose, but it didn't keep out all the grit that was blowing in the wind. She squinted into the wind all day, and tried not to let her spirits sink, but she found herself wondering if they'd ever find a home.  
  
Ayla let Durc walk beside her once they got past the gritty windstorm. Near mid-afternoon, she was startled to hear a cave lion's growl from a few feet away from them. Durc glued himself to his mother's leg. Ayla picked him up and picked up her pace, remembering not to run.  
  
"Why don't you run?" Durc asked.  
  
"Lions chase things that run, it's part of the hunting instinct," she gestured, glancing around for more signs of danger. A few minutes later, when they were out of the tall grass, she stopped and listened carefully.  
  
"They've stopped growling at us. We just got too close to where they were probably resting. Lions rest a lot. I'll teach you what I remember about animals when we get settled."  
  
"What about that valley over there?" He pointed over Ayla's left shoulder. "There's horses in it, Mama," Durc gestured excitedly.  
  
Ayla turned and walked quickly toward the sheltered, fertile valley. The valley looks so nice and green, she thought. There has to be people living there. 


	2. Chapter 2

Where are all the people, Mama? This valley looks so nice and green," Durc motioned, looking around.  
  
Ayla set him down for a minute and got out her sling and stones. She set down the basket at the base of a large pile of rocks, then lifted Durc up onto the rocks so he would be safe. She told him to stay there until she got back from exploring.  
  
She started walking along the rock shelf near the edge of the valley, hearing the river roaring nearby. She hoped there weren't hyenas in the cave that she had spotted.  
  
She and Durc settled into the cave for the fall. Durc tried to help as Ayla gathered grain, berries, and herbs. After some reluctance, the boy learned to dry berries and separate grain from the chaff, which pleased Ayla because he showed evidence of the Others' ease of learning new things.  
  
As the nights began to cool off, Ayla tried to hunt as much as she could, but she didn't want to exhaust the population of rabbits, hamsters, and other small animals. Durc helped by staking out furs from the kills that Ayla made with her sling. She taught him to use his sling with more accuracy, and he learned quickly. At the age of four, he could defend himself for a short time if necessary.  
  
"I wonder, could I bring down a horse with my sling?" Ayla motioned to herself one night as she sat in front of the fire. She went back to curing a rabbit skin, and Durc staked some more unscraped skins out near her.  
  
"I brought down a deer, one time, but I was in the spirit world at the time. This was back before you were born," Ayla motioned to Durc when he looked up.  
  
"Why not use the spear you took with you?" he asked. "You just jab it into the side of an animal after running it down."  
  
"I can't run that much, Durc. It takes the whole group of Clan men to do that. Wait, what about that Clan Gathering where the men dug a pit and got a rhino? If I could get the horses running, it might work."  
  
"I can scare the horses for you, Uba always mentioned that I was the most noisy child in the cave," Durc motioned, trying to appear grown up. "I miss Uba, Mama. And Grev. Even Brun was nice to me. Why did Broud make you leave?"  
  
"I can't explain it to you, you wouldn't understand. I miss everyone, too. Let's go to sleep, tomorrow we're going to go hunting."  
  
Durc grinned and headed for his fur. Ayla had taken a fur from hers and given it to him to curl up in. As she watched him settle in for the night, she wished she had thought to grab his furs and extra clothes for him when she left. They needed meat, and furs, and bones and other things if they were going to survive this winter.  
  
Ayla woke Durc shortly before dawn. "Wake up, son, it's time to go." He rubbed his eyes and went outside for a moment. When he came back into the cave, he grabbed for one of the new spears that were beside his mother.  
  
"These are new. Mama, when did you make these?" Durc asked.  
  
"Last night. I couldn't sleep. The first thing we have to do is dig a pit for the horses to fall into. I'll chop up the dirt and shovel it onto a hide, then you drag it far away. After that, we need to find some branches and leaves to cover it up. Then I'll stick some branches in the ground to make a fence, so they are trapped and fall into the pit. When I move toward the horses, you climb into a tall tree and stay there. I don't want you getting trampled. I don't want you on the ground when the horses are running. Now, we must eat first so we have energy for the hunt. Not a lot, just a little," Ayla motioned.  
  
"The men don't eat before hunting," Durc protested.  
  
"The men don't have to catch an animal, kill it, skin it, drag it back to the cave, and guard the meat while it dries," Ayla answered, handing him a traveling cake with berries, dried meat powder, and fat in it.  
  
She took one for herself, then got up and grabbed the spears, a hide to throw dirt on, and a mallet to pound sticks into the ground. Her sling, a pouch of stones, knives, and a few tools were tied to or tucked into her wrap. On the way out of the cliffs where the cave was, she grabbed a heavy club, a foreleg of a grazing animal. Durc grabbed a spear, and carried it as he walked beside her.  
  
He watched her work at digging the pit a ways away from the path where the horses went to drink, and helped haul the dirt away. The horses were used to the woman's smell, so they weren't alarmed by her presence near the water. When she started making the fences, he grabbed a large rock and worked beside her, pounding the branches into the ground. He then helped her to gather branches and leaves to lay over the pit to disguise it, and watched as she made torches. She put the club and two spears on either side of the pit.  
  
"You've been a big help, Durc. Now all we have to do is wait until dusk, when the horses will be easy to spook," Ayla motioned. He nodded.  
  
"When can I start hunting," he gestured.  
  
"You are already skilled with the sling, so you can start hunting with that after today. I'll learn how to hunt correctly with the spears, then I'll start teaching you. But no hunting with spears until you have grown some more."  
  
"Good. Look, the sun is setting, and the sky is turning colors. Want me to light the torches for you?"  
  
She checked the coal that she carried with her. It was still hot. "Not yet, maybe in an hour. It has to get almost dark before I light them. When horses smell fire, they panic."  
  
Ayla heard a whinny. The lead mare had noticed them. "Go, Durc," she motioned, then grabbed two torches and two spears. She moved to get behind the horses as they moved toward the water and the pit she had dug.  
  
She waited, then ran into their midst, yelling and waving the torches. They neighed and began to run in panic, instinctively afraid of the fire. Ayla's heart sank as she watched them veer around, jump over, or otherwise avoid the pit. She ran, screaming, nearly into the face of a dusty light colored mare. The mare turned the wrong way and ran in panic between the fences. The mare saw the pit too late and tried to jump over, but slipped and slid into the pit. She neighed and tried to jump out.  
  
Ayla stabbed with one of the spears and struck the horse in the side, wounding it. She struck with another spear, into the neck, then finished the mare off with a blow from the club.  
  
Ayla yelled and whooped in joy, then called for her son in a lower voice. Durc clambered out of the tree he was in and ran over to her.  
  
"Good job, I guess you are a man now," he grinned, making a joke.  
  
Ayla laughed. "I was made Woman Who Hunts in a ceremony before you were born. Help me turn the horse so I can skin and butcher it. I guess I'll have to do it in the bottom of this pit."  
  
He watched closely as she skinned it, then took the horsehide and helped her get the parts she wanted from the animal out of the pit.  
  
Later, after most of the meat was drying back at the cave within a circle of fires, Durc went to clean up the area where the pit had been. He came back to the cave, quickly, looking disturbed.  
  
"What, Durc?" Ayla asked.  
  
"I think the horse was a mama, too. There were some foals nosing around by the pit, and hyenas were after them, but I drove the hyenas off. I know you're tired, but please come look."  
  
Ayla followed her son. There was a little hay colored horse whose leg had been slashed by the hyenas' teeth wandering around near the pit. Another foal, this one a male of a strange shade of gray mixed with a golden tan, wandered near the water nearby.  
  
Durc went over by the water and nickered at the horse, making what he hoped was a fair approximation of a reassuring noise. The colt nickered a reply, then inched toward him.  
  
Ayla held out her hand to the hay colored horse, noting that it was a female, and made humming noises under her breath. The filly edged its way toward her, then started sucking on her fingers.  
  
Durc coaxed the horse to come with him as Ayla tried to get the horse to follow her. Ayla took the lead, leading the female horse with her. The colt followed the filly, who was a little older than him. Durc followed, making sure nothing was still tracking the young horses.  
  
Ayla stood for a minute once in the cave. After getting out some dried meat for herself and Durc, she looked at the horses, which were snuffling around the cave and getting acquainted with all the new smells.  
  
"How am I going to feed them?" she motioned to Durc, who shrugged as if to say, "I don't know."  
  
He handed her some grass from her basket making supplies. "How about this?" Then he turned and tried to feed it to the little colt. The colt sniffed at the grass, as if wondering what to do with it. "He won't eat it," he said, turning back to Ayla.  
  
"When you were young, I lost my milk early. I fed you powdered dried meat, cooked vegetables, and grain mashes. Maybe they would eat some grain." She put some grain into a cooking basket, and when it was done, put a small bowl of it down near each horse. The little filly started sucking on Ayla's fingers again, and Ayla slowly lowered her hand into the bowl. Durc did the same thing and then gradually removed his hand from the bowl until the colt was eating the mash on his own.  
  
"Now that they're fed, get some water for them please. Then you go to sleep, and I'll watch the drying meat so no animals get it," Ayla told her son. Durc nodded and did as she said, then banked the fire and curled up in his fur on his sleeping place, which was in a small trench beside his mother's place. After the last of the meat was dried, she put it in the back of the cave and went to her own furs.  
  
*  
  
"Mama, look what I got with my sling," Durc motioned into Ayla's face the next morning as soon as she opened her eyes.  
  
"Durc, it's early. What did you get?" she asked, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. Durc proudly held up a rabbit and a hamster.  
  
She stared in surprise and then gestured, "Oh. I guess I don't have to get out some of the dried meat for breakfast, then. What a good hunter you're becoming." She gave him a hug and then continued, "However, you shouldn't have left the cave without me. There are lions and other predators around that you can't kill with just a sling."  
  
"I didn't think of that. I'll tell you next time I go somewhere. Or I'll take a spear. Want me to skin them while you wake up?" Ayla nodded and got up, then started water boiling for her morning tea. She went outside, then came back in a moment later.  
  
"Want to go to the river?" she gestured to Durc. He smiled and then followed her as she ran to the river and then jumped in. He kept close to the bank, even though he knew how to swim. He had to, with the rivers that he and his mother had had to cross on the way north. They wrapped hides around themselves and headed back to the cave. They were very surprised to find a Clan woman and her child waiting for them. 


	3. Chapter 3

"Durc?" the little girl said to him. "Hello."  
  
"Ura, he may not have understood you. His daily language is different from ours," Oda reprimanded. She switched to the formal language and continued, "Ayla, this woman greets you and your son. We are wondering if we may stay with you for the winter."  
  
"Yes, of course, but why are you so far from your clan?" Ayla asked.  
  
Oda hesitated for a moment and then motioned, "This woman's mate and the leader of this woman's clan died in a hunting accident. The leader after him blamed the clan's misfortune on this woman's daughter, and cast us out. So we wandered here, and we are curious as to what you and your son are doing in the spirit world."  
  
"I too was Cursed, several moons ago," Ayla gestured. "I wanted my son to be with me. The new leader of this woman's former clan is, in my humble opinion, inadequate to care for the clan."  
  
"Oh? Why do you say that?" Oda gestured in her daily language. "Do you understand me?"  
  
"Yes. Some of the signs are different, but the language is similar. Durc, Ura, why don't you go play. Take your sling and stones, and don't wander too far," Ayla motioned.  
  
Oda turned around at the sound of a horse's nicker so close. The colt was trying to chew on her hair. She removed her hair from the horse's mouth and then gestured, "Why is this horse trying to eat me? Is it a spirit?"  
  
"No. I was hunting some horses last night and a nursing mare fell into the pit trap that I dug. Two little horses were being stalked by hyenas. I couldn't stand to see those babies die like that, so I saved them and brought them back here."  
  
"You know how to hunt? Is that why you were cursed?" Oda's head was filled with questions.  
  
"The first time I was cursed, I saved a boy, the son of the future leader, from an attacking hyena. I was cursed for an entire moon, but my totem watched over me and protected me from the evil spirits. I came back, and after that, Brun, my leader, told me that my totem wanted me to hunt, so Brun named me as Woman Who Hunts. Broud, the one who is leader now, hated me since I came to the clan, but he hated me much more after that. He forced me, and my totem allowed me to have Durc."  
  
"Broud sounds like an unpleasant man to be around, but why is he an inadequate leader?"  
  
"He doesn't care for the clan the way Brun did. His first act was to try to separate me from Durc by giving him to another woman. His second act was to move the former Mog-ur of our cave, and also the one who helped take care of me, to a drafty, cold space at the back of the cave. Mog-ur was old, and had very bad arthritis. Then when I objected as my right to care for my son and watch over Mog-ur, Broud ordered the new Mog-ur to curse me. There was an earthquake after it was done."  
  
"What an awful experience. I would have taken my child, too, rather than leave her under the leadership of such a man. That man seems more like a spoiled, inconsiderate child than a leader."  
  
"Oda, you are more open to new ideas than most Clan women I've known," Ayla motioned to her that night. They were sitting close to the fire, and the children were asleep.  
  
"I have to be, Ayla. I've been cursed for a while now. I had to find ways to survive. I became quite good at throwing stones to knock out a bird, or a rabbit, to cook for dinner. The spirits weren't going to provide food, and no hunter was with me. I will not let Ura die."  
  
"Would you like a way to throw stones with more force and accuracy, so you can bring down more animals?"  
  
"I've seen your sling. I don't think I could do that, your arms and shoulders move differently. The men hunt with slings, though . . ." She dropped her hands.  
  
"What about spears? I'm trying to learn to hunt with them, using what my son and I remember from watching the hunters practice." Ayla tried to convey to her the excitement of hunting, and the freedom of being able to ensure one's own survival. It wasn't getting through to her.  
  
Ayla finally told her, "No one will forbid you to learn here. You need it for survival. What would you do if you were left alone on the steppes again. At least try to learn, Oda."  
  
"Well, all right. My mate hasn't found me in the spirit world yet, so he can't tell me what to do. Can we start practice with the sling tomorrow?"  
  
Durc started thrashing and making motions with his hands in his sleep. Ayla got up and went to him, then stood there, wondering if she should disturb him. She had a strange idea that someone was trying to talk to him in his dreams, and she shouldn't bother them.  
  
Oda walked over and tapped Ayla on the shoulder. "What is it, Ayla?"  
  
"Durc is dreaming." Ayla sat by her son and laid her hand on his shoulder.  
  
Suddenly she felt herself pulled into his mind, and saw an image of a man, crippled and ancient, beckoning to them. She saw a scene then. Hunters, both men and women, were carrying and packing meat and skins onto packs made out of leather. A boy walked into the picture, waving at someone. He was thin, and looked sickly, but it was clear that he was mixed. Then in the distance she saw a tall man walking toward the boy. The man was blonde, and Ayla sensed that he was important to her, but didn't know how. Mammoths trumpeted somewhere in the distance, and the scene shattered. 'This is where you must go,' Creb said. 'And you must go farther . . ." There was a sense of speed, across many plains and a glacier. Then she saw a cave with an overhanging rock, then a great ocean. Then she saw something that made her shudder. The background of this final scene was black, and she sensed the barrenness of the void she had been in. Then she saw animals, many of them, vague and misty like spirits, and a tall woman holding out her arms. She took her hand off her son's shoulder, and the visions stopped.  
  
"What is it?" Oda asked when Ayla headed toward the fire again.  
  
"Oda, I did something at the Clan Gathering. I was chosen to make the root drink. It was too sacred to be made for practice, so I had never been shown how, only told. I made it for the mog-urs, then went to the women's dance and forgot about it. Later, I found the bowl, with roots and a little liquid on the bottom. It was too sacred to be thrown out, so I drank it. Then, I somehow ended up where the mog-urs were, and Creb, the Mog-Ur, took me with them, back to the Clan's beginnings, and my people, the Other's beginnings. Our beginnings are the same, Oda. The drink, and what I saw, changed me. Just now, I saw my son's dream."  
  
"If you were a male, you would be an acolyte of Mog-ur," Oda commented. "I wonder if the spirits are trying to tell you - or him - something. Let's get some rest, it has been a busy day."  
  
*  
  
Ura enjoyed the freedom of living in Ayla's cave with Durc, Ayla, and her mother. It meant that no men could boss her around, giving her the most menial and messy work because she was low-status, and they weren't around to cuff her for being slow, either. And Ura found that helping Durc and Ayla care for the animals was fun.  
  
Oda enjoyed having time to herself, too, and often sat beside Ayla after the children were asleep, working on projects or talking. She gradually got used to the horses over the winter, and occasionally fed them or gave them water. She was not as affectionate towards the animals as Ura became, however. The horses seemed to understand, and were quieter and more well- behaved when she was near them.  
  
Ayla taught both Durc and Oda to make spears and slings. Ayla had learned to make slings from secretly watching Zoug, and had always watched the men making weapons whenever she could. Oda eventually got over her uneasiness about hunting, which was helped by finding a sign from her totem shortly after she made her first kill, a hamster, that winter.  
  
Both Ayla and Oda watched Durc for signs of spirits trying to communicate with him again, but found none. After watching him for nearly the whole winter, Ayla decided the spirits just wanted him to grow. He was tall for his age, and strong. Ura, though slightly shorter, was nearly as strong as he was. She was also becoming very smitten with Durc. She watched him, but wasn't obvious about it, and did things to please him, even though he was nowhere close to being a man, yet. She noticed that he liked looking at her lengthening hair, so she combed it every day with teasel. She copied Ayla when the woman took bowls of snow in to melt in order to wash. Ura and Durc were now close to five years old, and too young to be mated, but the friendship between them was strong.  
  
When Ura became annoying, Durc just started working on some spears he was making, or inspected his sling for signs of wear, or did something else to avoid becoming angry. Ura had told him that men shouted at her and had treated her badly in the cave she had been a part of, and Durc didn't want her to be reminded of them. He wanted to take care of her, and make sure she never felt so awful again in her life.  
  
*  
  
One morning in spring, Oda was out hunting. She was nervous about hunting, and anxious about whether she'd get anything. She carried two spears, modified from the heavy Clan design to make them usable by females, her sling, and some stones.  
  
She walked through the trees that were heavy with new leaves. Sunlight filtered through the trees to shine on her dark hair, and sweat trickled down her brows, but she didn't notice. She had spotted a smallish female antelope, hidden in the trees.  
  
She snuck through the brush, then exploded out of it and grabbed the antelope by a leg and thrust the spear into her neck. Another bolted out of the same thicket that the female had been resting in. The antelope kicked and bleated, then slumped over. Oda laid her on the grass and slit the throat to bleed the animal, then motioned to her, "What were you doing here? This valley doesn't have any others of your kind living in it, except for the one that got away. Antelope must be migrating back from somewhere, I think."  
  
She skinned the animal and then continued to herself, "How am I going to carry this? I don't want to drag it and ruin the hide. Wait, I've seen Ayla make something out of branches, before, to carry things with the horses." She went and cut down some thick branches, then dragged them back and used some of the thong that held her wrap closed to tie them together.  
  
She used more of the thong to help her drag the load back to the cave. She found Ayla sitting at the feet of two men. One was blonde haired, the other brown haired. Their strange packs were sitting near the beach where flint usually was. Durc was standing behind Ayla, slightly in front of Ura, with a heavy bone club in his hand and his sling ready in the other. He stared at the men, and his stare was part curiosity and part threat.  
  
Oda dropped her kill, moved forward and said Ura's name. The brown haired man looked up and grimaced at her. Oda took her daughter by the arm and began to lead her away. The man started after them, and Oda threw a rock at him, then was horrified at her own actions as the man fell over. To her eyes, the purely friendly interest in the man's eyes somehow reminded her of the man who killed her daughter. She would not lose this daughter, too.  
  
The blonde man helped the other up. The blonde haired man reached forward to touch the top of Ayla's head, then lingered on her soft honey blonde hair. Ayla looked up, smiling a little. His touching her hair felt nice, but why was he doing that? She wasn't his mate. The man yanked his hand back a second later. Ayla saw the look on the man's face and was ashamed. She had done something wrong, but what?  
  
"Wait, I'm sorry, I will not hurt you," the brown haired man said to Oda. Oda stared at him. He beckoned to her, and then sat down, putting his hands at his sides. "I won't hurt you, I promise." He turned to the blonde haired man. "Are they deaf?"  
  
"I don't think so. I don't think they understand us. I've been talking to the woman for a while. I've tried Sungaea, Mamutoi, Sharamudoi, Zelandoni, Lanzandonii, and S'Armunai. She doesn't understand any of them."  
  
"Maybe just start with our names, then." He reached for Oda's hands. "Thonolan." She declined to take his hands, and looked puzzled. He tapped his chest and said it again.  
  
"Ton-lon," she tried. Thonolan nodded, then reached a hand toward her. She tapped her chest. "Oda."  
  
"Ar-da? Or-da? Oh-da?" he tried. She nodded on the last attempt.  
  
"Jondalar. Jon-da-lar, " the other man said to Ayla. Durc watched the man closely, his hand on his mother's shoulder.  
  
"Jondar," Durc tried. "Dzondar. Jonda-ar." Ayla said. She tapped her chest, then her son's. "Ayla. Durc."  
  
"Arghya? Ay-gha? Ay-lla. Dac? Dark? Durk," Jondalar tried, then said to his brother, "Their language is hard to speak."  
  
"Jondalar, I don't think they speak with words. This one, she's trying to tell me something with signs," Thonolan told him. Oda was gesturing, exaggerating the movements. Finally, she grew exasperated. She took a spear, pointed it toward Ura, then turned and broke it over her knee.  
  
"I think the woman doesn't want you to hurt her daughter. That's why she threw the rock at you earlier, and led her away."  
  
"Oh. Why don't you use trading signs to tell Arghya or whatever her name is to let us stay the night? I'm tired."  
  
"Me, too, brother, but we don't need to be rude. And her name is Ay-la." He turned, pointing toward Ayla's cave, then laying his head on folded hands, then pointing to their packs and back to the cave. Ayla thought she understood, and nodded. Jondalar went to get their packs. Ayla looked toward the field, where the horses were grazing. What would the men think of the horses? she wondered. Ayla signaled Durc and Ura to go play, since the two women had to help get the men settled. 


	4. Chapter 4

"Little Brother, wake up, it's time to go hunting. If we're going to stay with Ayla and Oda and their children, we'd better provide for them," Jondalar said, shaking him awake.  
  
"We left the Mamutoi because of the spring rains caused a flood, and now we're staying with a flathead female, a woman, and their two mixed children?" Thonolan protested.  
  
"Do you really want to go back to the Sharamudoi, Jetamio's people? We're only staying with them because the memories back at the Sharamudoi are so painful for you. Although we could try to find Haduma's people."  
  
"Don't bother. The Hadumai are probably going to be traveling to their Summer Meeting by the time we got there. I just thought you might be bothered by the flathead and mixeds," Thonolan said as he got up and put on his clothes. He smiled at Oda, who reached up for the waterbag at the front of the cave and poured water into a cup for him.  
  
"I may have grown up with the boys that teased Brukeval, but I never teased him. He's my distant cousin, and not all that different, even though they say he's partially mixed. I don't want to anger Oda, anyway. She's strong, and appears to be quite intelligent. She nearly knocked you out with that rock yesterday, after dragging a whole antelope through the valley and up the slope all by herself. Now let's stop talking and eat, we're making them uncomfortable," Jondalar answered. He got up and went to their packs, which were in the back of the cave, and got out some traveling food. They ate, then picked up their spears and left.  
  
"They didn't want us to do much. Men of the Clan always required the women to cook food, make tea, and maybe relieve their needs in the morning. All I had to do was get Tonlon some water," Oda motioned.  
  
Ayla turned to smile at Durc, who was yawning and getting up from the tangled mess of his furs that he had slept in. Then she turned back to Oda and gestured, "And Jondar only wanted some of my tea in a cup. It's a good thing I hadn't put my medicine in it yet. I don't know what that particular herb would do to men."  
  
"Why? What medicine do you need, you seem healthy," Durc motioned. He had gotten dressed, and had his sling and some spears in hand. "Have the men left?"  
  
"Yes. I'd like you to wait a little longer before you start hunting with spears, anyway. You caught on to Jondar's way of speaking more than I did yesterday. How about learning some of their language, enough for him to teach you?"  
  
"I was going to do that anyway. Where's Ura?"  
  
"With the horses. Do you want some food?"  
  
"No, I'll eat later, when I come back. Jondar likes you, Mama. Maybe you should learn his language, too." Durc gulped down some mint tea and headed to the entrance of the cave.  
  
"I was planning on it. Could you try for some ptarmigan? I'm going hunting later today, too, but I don't know how much the men will eat," Ayla motioned. Durc nodded and left.  
  
"Well, it looks like Durc wants you to have a man around," Oda gestured. She got up and began to look for basket materials at the back of the cave.  
  
"Durc knows he is growing up. He wants someone to be around to take care of me. I just hope that Jondar isn't like Broud. Jondar touched my hair when we met, but then he looked at me like I had done something wrong, like I had offended him. I always offended Broud, even when I acted normally."  
  
Oda sat down with the materials, then looked at Ayla, who was obviously bothered by her thoughts. "I think you are worrying too much. Jondar is not Broud, Ayla. From the way he acts, he's curious about you, and a little attracted. Having a mate is not such a bad thing. My mate was good to me before my first daughter died, but the grief of losing her and then getting a deformed daughter was tough on him. I still miss my mate to this day. He was not a bad man."  
  
"I didn't mean to say that all men were bad. I'm sure your mate was kind to you. I think I'm going to find Ura and the horses."  
  
"Durc went to spend time with her, remember? Will you help me clean off some of these roots instead? With the surprise visit yesterday, I didn't get to it."  
  
"Sure. I wonder how long the men will be before they get back." The two women began to work.  
  
*  
  
"Ura!" Durc called aloud, looking around. He was on the western side of the valley, where Ura usually took the horses to graze and spend time with them. He walked out through a line of trees and saw the horses. Whinny nickered at him.  
  
"What?" Ura stepped out from where she had been standing between Whinny and Whinny's sibling. The female and male were almost full size now, but the male had slightly longer legs. They had never got around to naming the male. The horses were smaller and more compact than modern breeds, and had stripes down their backs, as well as large overhanging noses.  
  
"Just wanted to make sure you were okay, that's all. You should have waited for me this morning, it's not good for you to be by yourself without -"  
  
"Without a man to protect me? You're not a man, yet, and Ayla promised to teach me sling hunting, but I guess that's over with now that the men are here. Why can't men just leave women alone? Take Whinny's sibling and go, then."  
  
"I was planning on taking you with me, but if you're going to be this way, I'll see you at the cave for noon meal," Durc told her. He didn't understand, why was she acting this way? She had been disrespectful, but he wouldn't, no, couldn't hit her, even to discipline her. He gestured for Whinny's sibling to follow him, and left her standing there with Whinny.  
  
He and the male horse walked and walked. He found himself at the outside of the valley, near a forest he hadn't noticed before. He examined the plant and animal life he found, determined to tell his mother about the find. There were herbs, including ones that he vaguely remembered his mother collecting, some flowers, mushrooms, and scrubby trees. He bent to collect some mushrooms and berries, using a branch as a makeshift digging stick. The horse nudged his arm. He ignored it.  
  
A few minutes later, the horse nudged him again. "Get away," he said aloud, then shoved the horse away.  
  
He heard a growl, and he jumped up and turned around, holding one of his spears in front of him. It was a lynx. What are lynx doing here, he thought. It's thin, it must be starving. Should I get close enough to try to kill it? He looked at the long spear in his hand, then back at the animal.  
  
The male horse pawed the ground, then backed up, neighing. Durc had an impulse, and threw the spear. The spear grazed the side of the lynx's head, and it shook it's head, then advanced, snarling and bunching the muscles in it's shoulders. It was going to spring. He finally found a few rocks to put in his sling, and threw one. He hit the lynx between the eyes with the first stone, and the animal dropped. He threw another quickly, like his mother had taught him, just in case.  
  
He waited until the animal stopped stirring, then bent to wrap vines around it to help him carry it. He picked it up, along with the bag full of mushrooms and berries he had dropped. He reached out to the horse, who sniffed his hands. The scent from the lynx's blood was strong, but the young male horse trusted him.  
  
"Come on," he coaxed, then made a soft horse nicker. He 'talked' to the horse for awhile, using a mixture of horse sounds and the few spoken words he knew. "Let's go back to Mama, and to make up with Ura. I had a fight with her. Obviously the spirits don't want us fighting, I could have died today."  
  
The horse followed along behind Durc. Neither noticed that a small, wobbly, fuzzy lynx kitten followed.  
  
*  
  
The next morning, Ura woke early and lay with her eyes open, watching Ayla make tea. The soft morning light illuminated Ayla's hair. Ura thought that the woman's hair and eyes were beautiful, even if her whole appearance marked her as one of the Others. She wondered why the Clan feared the Others, after all Ayla had been kind to her, and Thon-lan was nice to her mother.  
  
Ayla turned, feeling the hairs on the back of her neck raise, and realized the girl had been watching her. "Good morning."  
  
Ura sat up and motioned, "Good morning. May I talk to you, out on the ledge?" Ayla got up quietly, and walked out of the cave.  
  
"I have some questions for you first. What happened with Durc yesterday? He came back saying he had been taking a walk, and the lynx could have killed him. Were you and Whinny with him?"  
  
"No. He and I fought yesterday. He ran off, and I let him go. I combed Whinny with the teasel, and walked with her to calm down. I don't know why I was so disrespectful to him. I just was so angry about the men being here, and then Durc came running to me like I couldn't take care of myself. And I can't, unless you teach me to hunt, at least with the sling."  
  
"Who says I won't teach you? I like having the men around, but I don't know them. I can barely talk to them. I'm not sure I even want a mate, and even if one of them chooses me, he certainly won't take all my time."  
  
"Oh. I thought, I mean, the men were always first in my clan, and I had to do whatever they said, even if it meant giving up something I had worked on for hours. I once had a basket that I dyed bluish black with manganese oxide, but the leader's son took it from me."  
  
"Ura, how old are you?"  
  
"Hm? Why are you asking that? The mog-ur said that I'm, um, birthing year, walking year, nursing year, weaning year, and I don't know after that."  
  
"Let me help you." Ayla took her finger and drew lines in the dirt. "Birth year, walking year, nursing year, weaning year," she said, then held up four fingers. Then one more, then she held up her other hand and all those fingers. "Creb was not supposed to teach me, but he did. I think you are six years. The Clan Gathering is in -"  
  
"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten." Ayla jumped up and turned around in surprise at hearing Jondalar's voice. She didn't recognize the words, but when he smiled she was shocked. Did his smile mean it was all right for women to use magic? She waited for something, a rebuke or a request, but he did nothing but touch her face and then go down the path to the river.  
  
"Why did he touch you?"  
  
"I have no idea. Let's go bathe when Jondalar comes back and Oda is awake, I'd like her with us for some women-only discussion. I think your guardian spirits are preparing to leave, so that you can become a woman. When the spirits move, your feelings can get unsettled, I think. It's like at the end of winter, when Ice Mountain is being pushed back by the sun, people can act strangely. When I was close to becoming a woman, Broud treated me the worst, and I felt the most rebellious towards him. I was eight, and had to grow up inside, in my mind, before my totem would let my body change to that of a woman. Physically, I wasn't a woman until I was ten."  
  
"Oh, so that's what's going on. Mother has told me a little about it, but not much."  
  
"Mama, look at what was bothering the horses. That lynx I killed, this is her kitten, I think," Durc said, rushing up the path. "Oh, morning, Ura."  
  
"Morning, Durc. I feel bad about what happened yesterday. I won't act like that again. Can I see the kitten?"  
  
"Oh, a kitten. Where'd you get it?" Thonolan said, then realized they wouldn't understand. He pointed to the kitten in Durc's arms, then said clearly, "Where?"  
  
Durc pointed over the ledge and to the west. Thonolan patted the harmless looking animal on the head, smiled at Ura, and edged past them to walk down the path.  
  
"Looks like we'll have to wait awhile for our bath, " Oda said, stepping out of the cave. She rubbed her eyes, then pointed to the marks. "What are those?"  
  
"Magic. The Mog-ur taught me when I lived at his hearth. And this is strange, but Jondalar approves of my using magic. I'd like to talk with you and Ura anyway, let's go into the cave. Durc, will you please go catch a few fish for us? Oda and Ura and I want to talk privately. We'll watch the kitten for you."  
  
That summer -  
  
"Where is Ayla and Jondalar?" Oda asked aloud. They had all been gradually learning the language of the two men, and she was the last to pick it up. Durc and Ura were the most proficient, only missing a word or two occasionally, followed by Ayla, who still had trouble with some concepts.  
  
"They're out picking grain together. They probably won't be back until dark," Durc told her shortly.  
  
"What is your problem?" Oda asked him. She was his future mate's mother, and didn't think she deserved such a harsh answer. She had picked up some of the Others' concepts, including the respect given to women, and understood better than she spoke. Although foreign to her Clan brain, the ideas appealed to her.  
  
"Ura is a woman, now, Oda. She has no man to care for her, since I am not full grown enough to hunt, even though I am tall, and I have no beard, and my voice is changing, and it is irritating. I want to take care of Ura. You did a good job raising her, and I appreciate the woman you helped her to become, but - "  
  
Oda snapped her fingers to get his attention, then began to gesture. "But you care for her, and are frustrated. I understand somewhat, Durc. I had a daughter before Ura. The daughter was killed when the man of the Others relieved his needs with me, and I was frantic with worry trying to care for her, begging the medicine woman for treatments. It wasn't until that night that I finally accepted that she was dead. My mate, Norn, was good to me then, and I was overjoyed when I found out that my totem was overcome. I prayed and asked my totem for a daughter, and thought I did so in secret, but my mate must have seen me. He was angry when my daughter was born. He hit me in the face with a chunk of flint he was working on when he came in to see her the first time. It was wrong to hurt me, Jondar helped explain that to me, but that was my mate's one fault, wanting a son to teach. I was allowed to keep my daughter, and she grew up suffering the most menial treatment by the members of the cave. Our status dropped considerably, though Norn had been the master flintknapper of the cave. I'm sure Ura has talked to you of her life then, and how happy she is now. Take good care of her, Durc. Your totem will cause you to grow in his own time."  
  
"I know. I usually don't take my feelings out on you or Ayla, or Ura. I will let Ura keep all the children she bears, if they aren't deformed. By deformed I mean like Ovra's stillborn joined twin. Ayla told me about her, she was a woman in our cave who was thought to be barren."  
  
Ayla and Jondalar came back into the cave. Jondalar went to the back of the cave to put the full baskets of grain away, and Ayla turned to make some tea, taking things out of her medicine bag.  
  
"Do you want some tea, Durc? I was just making some for myself," Ayla asked. Durc examined her. Her wrap and hair were aschew. Had Jondalar hurt her? No, she looked pleased. What happened, then?  
  
He turned and looked at Jondalar, then asked, "Jondalar, may I talk to you? Let's go out on the ledge."  
  
Jondalar sat down once they were out on the ledge. Durc followed suit, then sat staring at his hands and trying to collect his thoughts. It was late afternoon, and the sun was starting to drop towards the horizon.  
  
"What did you want to talk about, Durc?"  
  
"You and mother were gone picking grain, but more than that happened. Am I right?" Durc asked carefully.  
  
"Yes. Why should you be concerned? I know you feel protective of her, Durc, but she is a grown woman. I promise not to hurt her, ever. Hurting anyone is wrong, and there are consequences for it. I did not force her, if that's what you are concerned about. Forcing women is an abomination, a horrible thing, in the eyes of my people and the spirits we believe in."  
  
Durc nodded. "Mother says I am turning into a man, but I still feel young. And Ura is six, and turning into a woman. Who will take care of her? She needs someone, I was taught that women have to have someone to provide for them. I worry for her."  
  
"Your mother did a good job, and also taught Ura and her mother to hunt. I'm sure Ura will be fine until you come of age. Ayla may have made a mistake. I was tall for my age, too. I was twelve before I came of age. But that's another discussion. What happened to Ayla is in the past. You don't have to shoulder the responsibility of protecting Ayla and Ura both. That's too much."  
  
"And you and Thonolan will stay here with us?"  
  
Jondalar nodded. "Until spring, maybe. I'll have to talk to him. Let's go back inside the cave, it smells like there's some food cooking."  
  
"Mixed children in the Clan are not treated well, Thonolan. Is it the same with the Zelandonye?" Oda was saying as they came in.  
  
Ayla turned and handed Jondalar and Durc some tea, then turned back to the cooking food that was over the coals. Oda turned to help her.  
  
"It's the same among the Zelandoni, and all the other groups that Jondalar and I have met. Except for one group of Mamutoi that we stopped with. I'll talk about that after dinner, if you want," Thonloan told her.  
  
"When we stayed with the Sharamudoi, Thonolan mated a woman named Jetamio, who died in childbirth. We traveled to the end of the Great Mother river, the big river that leads back to Zelandoni country. We tried to cross the Sister, and the log holding our supplies and our clothes got swept away. I got a bump on the head and bruised ribs, but the trouble Thonolan ran into was worse," Jondalar told them.  
  
Thonolan continued, "I got caught in quicksand, and a group of Mamutoi found us and helped me out. They were from farther inland, but they were traveling to trade with some of the neighboring camps. Tulie, the headwoman - female leader - told us to go to Nezzie, the headman's mate, to see what she could do about my ribs. She invited us to share a meal with her. While we were eating, I noticed a strange looking boy at her hearth. I hadn't seen a mixed child up close before, and to be honest, I wasn't sure I wanted to get to know the boy. The Zelandoni don't think well of mixeds. I asked her about him and she told me that his mother, who was a Clan woman, had died giving birth to him."  
  
"So . . . why are you so accepting of Ura and I now? And Ura's mother, she's full Clan, not a mix," Durc asked.  
  
"I was just getting to that, I don't mean to be insulting, but I'm just trying to say how 'the Others' think so you won't be surprised if you run into them. Anyway, we stayed with the camp for a few days, then traveled with them to Willow Camp and farther inland. When we were with Lion Camp, I noticed that Rydag - that was his name - was loved and cared for like any child. He couldn't speak, but he had jobs to do like any other member of the camp."  
  
"What did you expect him to be like, an animal? C'mon, Ura, let's go play with the other animals. I know where Lirac, the lynx kitten that followed me hides, and where the horses are," Durc said, then got up, grabbed a torch for protection from the dark, and walked out. Ura followed after giving Jondalar a confused look.  
  
"I'm very sorry. I didn't mean, I mean . . ." Jondalar stumbled.  
  
"What is sorry? Just a word. I'm angry, too, but I want to hear more about how the child amazed you by being human, " Ayla told him.  
  
"He didn't mean it the way it sounded. Didn't your Clan ever doubt whether you were human? The Clan calls us 'the Others', after all," Thonolan said.  
  
"I was always treated as a little strange, they called my behavior unclanlike. But just because I wasn't Clan didn't make me less than human. A man from the Others stumbled into a group of Clan people and was healed by Iza's mother's mother. That's how they knew I was human. I was always different, I don't want my son to have the burden of always being strange, too. There was a man who didn't like me, and treated me harshly because of it. I don't want the same to happen to Durc. For now, you can keep your Others people to yourself. When Durc is a bit older, more able to deal with things like an adult, then, maybe, I will try to find a group of the Others."  
  
Jondalar found the courage to speak again. "Not all of us are like Broud. There are a few people who are that narrow-minded, and I'm ashamed to say I was once one of them. I never hurt or teased anyone who was a mixture, but my cousin was at least a partial mix, and he was treated badly by some, and I didn't do much to stop it. Through Thonolan and me, the Others have come to you, and we have a lot to offer. Please don't hide from us, that's how all these rumors about the Clan resembling animals and other nonsense got started. When people talk, beliefs get spread, and sometimes the wrong ideas are the most popular, just because they're easy to accept rather than find our the truth for yourself."  
  
"I'll talk to Durc tomorrow about all this. It's dark, and he and Ura should be asleep. I'm going to go find them." With that, Ayla got up.  
  
"I'll come with you," Jondalar offered.  
  
*  
  
"You're very quiet. Why?" Thonolan asked Oda.  
  
"I've never thought about why Ura was treated harshly, or why our status dropped. Perhaps the Clan considers mixed children to be less than human, too. I know Ura is human, Thonolan. Any children I might have with an Others man will look similar to her."  
  
"After the experience with Rydag, we know the beliefs passed down to us are wrong. We don't doubt your or Ura's humanity. For one thing, you and Ura are very intelligent, even if you are slow to pick up on certain things."  
  
"When the Others attacked my group, some of their body language seemed to say that they thought of us as ugly. Do you find me ugly?"  
  
"You're unusual, but you have very deep brown eyes, and your hair shines in the sun. Your brow ridges just give the effect of very deep-set eyes. No, you're not ugly, just different in appearance."  
  
Just then, the lynx kitten, half-tamed and still growing with no spots and long legs, bounced into the cave ahead of everyone. Oda started when the lynx dove into her lap, looking for a piece of jerky that she had in a pocket of her wrap. Thonolan laughed at the look on her face, and she handed the jerky to the persistent feline.  
  
*  
  
"So, what should we name him?" Durc asked his mother. Ayla stood knee deep in the tawny fall grass, patting the nose of Whinny's brother. Ayla looked at Jondalar, and she made a motion. Jondalar didn't know the subtleties of the gesture, but understood what she wanted from the way he looked at her.  
  
Ura and Oda stood near Ayla. Ura's hands were clenched around Whinny's mane, and Oda had a hand on the mare's neck. Thonolan stood beside his brother, holding some red mud in his hand. As the elder sibling, Whinny had been named first. Whinny bore some red mud on her nose, and she shook her head, flinging mud every which way.  
  
Jondalar closed his eyes for a moment, thinking. Then he finally said, "Firestone. His coat looks like those rocks Durc found recently on the beach, the ones that make fire. The stones and the horse still seem like magic, even though we're all learning to make fire with them."  
  
"Good, now let's set these horses free so they can quit trying to rub mud on my shirt. It's one that Oda made," Thonolan said. As they walked back towards the cave, he continued, "Both her and Ayla make very soft leather, even softer than the chamois skins that the Sharamudoi are famous for."  
  
"Maybe we can go visit the Sharamudoi someday?" Ura asked, looking at Thonolan, and then at her mother. Oda shook her head slightly at her, and Ura didn't say any more about it.  
  
"Where's Lirac, Durc?" Ayla asked her son.  
  
"Who?" Oda asked.  
  
"The lynx kitten, the one whose mother he killed. It must be growing fast by now," Ayla explained.  
  
"He's getting big, and has about three dens that he goes to from time to time. He changes dens when the animals that he hunts start anticipating the trails he takes," Durc told them. He was proud of his control over the colt and the lynx.  
  
"So what else were you planning to do today besides naming the horses, Ayla?" Jondalar asked.  
  
"Maybe go hunting with my sling, and practice with the spears some more. I was planning on taking Durc and Ura with me. It's time Ura started learning, and Durc needs to work on some things. How about you?"  
  
"Maybe make some tools. Maybe when you come back tonight I'll show you how the Zelandoni make them."  
  
*  
  
Ayla sighed and leaned back on the pile of furs that was her bedding. She stared at the cave ceiling, then got up and looked at the morning sky, which was slowly lightening in color as the sun rose. She didn't have much to do, her son was on his first hunt with Thonolan and the colt. Ura and Oda were already up and gone.  
  
She walked carefully down to the river near the cave, took a drink, bathed, and washed her hair. She looked at herself before she put her newly made warm leather leggings and shirt back on. She thought for a moment, then put all the pieces together as to the reason for the subtle changes in her body.  
  
She smiled delightedly and put her clothes on, then went back to get her sling and Whinney. She hugged the mare, then got up on her back. She got several rabbits and a large jerboa. Then she continued to ride around, gathering herbs and plants.  
  
When she came back with her finds, Jondalar was sitting by the entrance. He smiled at her in greeting, and she gave him a greeting gesture in response. He wondered why she was gesturing, she usually only did that when she felt something strongly.  
  
He stood up. "Why are you..." he started to say, but she started to motion again. He asked her to repeat it.  
  
"My totem has been defeated. Your Cave Lion overcame mine. I am going to have your baby," she gestured.  
  
"What? That's a strange way to say that you're Blessed," he replied. Then the reality of her words hit him, and he sank to the ground. She held him until he awoke, then they went back into the cave to talk.  
  
*  
  
Over the course of that day, Ayla had told Thonolan, Oda, Durc, and Ura about her news, and they had agreed to talk about what to do after supper. They were all sitting with cups of tea on furs near the fire.  
  
"Well, she can't have the baby here. I mean, none of us is a healer except her. I know how to make willowbark tea, but that wouldn't be much help," Jonalar stated.  
  
"I would want healers around, but I don't know how Oda and Ura and Durc would react to meeting with the Others," Ayla responded.  
  
"Ayla, it isn't a concern right now. People of the Clan can adjust if they need to," Oda told her.  
  
"Ura and I are mixed. We can adjust to things a lot better, and besides, I'm not a child anymore. I will look out for her," Durc remarked. His manhood hunt had been successful.  
  
"So, we all want to go. The Mamutoi are the closest people around. What will we need to take with us?" Thonolan asked.  
  
"Food, weapons, baskets, furs, and clothes. And a lot more things. I've got Whinney trained to pull a load, but how will we carry the rest?" Ayla asked.  
  
"Jondalar and I have our haversacks, and we can spend a few days making more."  
  
"I still feel bad that everyone has to pack up to leave because of me," Ayla told them.  
  
"It was bound to happen sometime, either to you or Oda or Ura. There's nothing to be sorry about, it was the Mother's choice," Jondalar told her, then got up to check the stored items in the back of the cave.  
  
"No, it wasn't. It wasn't through spirits at all," Ayla said.  
  
Jondalar turned around. "What? But you said something about my totem defeating yours."  
  
"It may have been totems, or your spirit, or the Mother. Some part of making a woman have a baby may be because of a spirit. But it takes a man to make a woman pregnant."  
  
"Do you think it's because of Pleasures?" Thonolan asked.  
  
"Yes. I'll talk about it more later, but now we need to figure out what to do. There's only a few moons before winter, I think," Ayla interrupted.  
  
"How about tommorow we figure out what we have, and then figure out what we need so we can try to gather it. It will be easier to see then," Jondalar said.  
  
*  
  
A moon later -  
  
"Durc! Durc, are you asleep?" Ura said aloud in a restrained whisper. It was too dark to see signs inside the cave; the fire was banked. Durc stirred, rolled over in his furs, and looked at her.  
  
"No, but everyone else is. What?" he whispered.  
  
"It's snowing out, isn't it?" she asked.  
  
He looked out the mouth of the cave. "Yes. Why, are you cold?"  
  
"A little."  
  
He got up, took one of the furs from his bedding, and tucked it around her, then returned to his furs. "There. That fur was getting tangled around my feet anyways."  
  
"Thanks. What do you think about the mammoth hunters? Do you think they'll treat us well? We're already packed up to go, but how will we travel in this weather?"  
  
"I don't know. The mammoth hunters might be like Jondalar's people were to Brukeval, or they might be okay. Maybe we'll run into Talut's camp; Jondalar wanted to look for them anyways."  
  
"I don't want to be called an animal. And I want to have children, someday, and not have them thought badly of, like I was in the Clan."  
  
"Ura, you're not an animal. You and Ayla and Oda are going to have First Rites, if Jondalar can arrange it with the Mamutoi. And if none of those Others boys steals you away, I'll mate you and help take care of your children."  
  
"Our children," she stated.  
  
"Maybe. Now try to get some sleep," he told her. She closed her eyes obediently, but her eyebrows were furrowed with worry, and one hand was clenched around the top fur of her bedding. He reached for her hand, and held it until she fell asleep. 


	5. Chapter 5

They left the valley that morning, crunching through the thin layer of snow. The wind blew constantly on the steppes where they traveled, not allowing much snow to accumulate. They walked for several days, hunting small animals as they went. The horses both pulled loads, though Durc and Jondalar had to both keep an eye on Firestone so he would stay under control.  
  
They camped one night by some woods. The sun was setting, and the colors shone off the sparse cover of snow. Thonolan and Jondalar had seen some deer a ways back, and were discussing whether they wanted to hunt them. Oda was cooking a few rabbits, with Ura assisting her, and Ayla was making a tea out of various herbs in her medicine bag. The horses were grazing and relaxing nearby.  
  
Durc was out cutting wood. He was hacking at a branch when a young woman stepped out of the trees nearby. He didn't look up until she tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
"Hello," he said in Mamutoi.  
  
She held out her hands. "Greetings, I am called Deggie of Lion Camp. Who are you?"  
  
He clasped her hands, then let them go. "Durc, son of Ayla of No People."  
  
"No people?" Deggie repeated, then put it out of her mind as a difference in the way he spoke. He didn't speak Mamutoi quite right, and seemed to swallow some of the sounds. She asked a question, "What are you and your mother doing here all alone?"  
  
"We're not alone; we're with friends. I have to take this wood back to camp. You can come with me if you like."  
  
"Just let me get the animals that I snared. I'll be right back."  
  
*  
  
"Deggie, where have you been? It's dark out," her mother demanded when Deggie came back to Lion Camp a few hours later.  
  
"We're going to have visitors tomorrow, mother. I ran into some Journeyers. There are a young boy and girl that look like Rydag, a flathead woman, the boy's mother, and two men. And two horses and a lynx kitten," Deggie said, then grinned and fell silent.  
  
"Are you sure you didn't hit your head..." Deggie's mother said, taking a closer look at her daughter.  
  
Mamut came up silently behind them, and they both jumped when he spoke. "She's speaking the truth, and has not been hurt in any way. She's a grown woman now, and should be taken more seriously." Deggie had had her First Rites that summer.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mamut, Deggie, but I can't help but remember the way I was at that age, so full of ideas and daydreams."  
  
The next morning, Ayla and Oda got up early and took very quick baths in a nearby stream, then wrapped up in their top sleeping furs, which they had brought with them for warmth, and hurried back to the tent.  
  
Oda crinkled her nose at her travel-stained wrap, but put it on. She had no other wrap with her. When she left the Clan with her daughter, survival had been first in her thoughts, not clothing. Ayla inspected her own clothes, brushed some grime off of her leggings and shirt and put them on.  
  
While Oda checked on Durc and Ura and the men, Ayla got tea going. Oda started the leftovers of a dried berries and grain mixture cooking in a skin pot, then sat back for a moment. Oda jumped up and checked her pack again, making sure everything that she needed was accounted for. Being full Clan, she couldn't stand much change at one time, and this business of searching for and now moving to the Mamutoi had taxed her mind with all the uncertainties.  
  
"Oda." The woman turned at the sound of Ayla's voice. She held out a new dark leather shirt and fur leggings. "These are for you."  
  
"Ayla, they are beautiful. When did you have time to make these?" she asked. "I have nothing to give you in return."  
  
"You gave me your friendship when I needed it most, in the valley before Jondalar and Thonolan came. I wanted to die, I couldn't stand being by myself. Now try them on."  
  
Oda complied. The dark leggings and shirt set off Oda's light complexion, and the leggings matched the color of her dark brown eyes.  
  
"You look good, Oda," Durc said, rubbing his eyes as he woke up. He looked over at Ura, but she was still asleep.  
  
Oda turned and folded her old wrap up and put it in her pack. She asked, "But when did you make them?"  
  
"The same time that I made my outfit. I thought I might want an extra outfit. Now that we're going to the Mamutoi, there will probably be plenty of hunting for me to get new furs."  
  
The smells of cooking food soon woke the two men and Ura. They ate, packed what was left to pack, and were on their way.  
  
*  
  
Deggie was watching for them by the camp entrance. Latie stood beside her, intrigued by the idea of someone who could tame horses, like Deggie had claimed Ayla could. Deggie turned back to go to the hearth to alert Tulie, her mother and also the headwoman, that the visitors were there.  
  
They all dropped their packs off in the entrance, while Ayla and Oda took the supplies off of the horses' pole drags. Deggie and Latie went in front of the visitors and back to their mothers' hearths. Jondalar and Thonolan walked in first, holding out their hands. They were greeted by Talut, Tulie, Nezzie, Tronie, and others that remembered them from their short stay. Wymez greeted Jondalar and they walked off together. Thonolan circulated among the people, greeting those he didn't know.  
  
Ayla walked in next, and there was a stir of comments as her son's lynx followed on her heels. The conversation stopped when Oda walked in, followed by Durc and Ura. They headed right towards Ayla.  
  
"We made sure the horses are alright, Mama," Durc said. She looked at him; he hadn't called her that in a while, preferring to think of himself as an adult.  
  
The camp started talking again in a few moments, not wanting to seem impolite. Oda busied herself wiping a smudge of dirt off her daughter's face, and Ura flinched away. It was obvious Oda was bothered by the noise of a whole Camp full of people who used spoken language.  
  
A woman with a baby in her arms, who had been hanging back among the crowd, headed hesitantly towards Ayla to talk. An older woman hovered protectively behind her, trying to catch her arm when she saw Oda and the mixed young people near Ayla. The younger woman turned to the woman, looked where she pointed, and turned back to look at Ayla again. A man came up behind her, took her arm, and led her away.  
  
Mamut, who had been watching the interactions of the people, managed to get past the crowd and stand near Ayla and the others. He made a gesture to Oda.  
  
"Greetings, what is your name? I am called Oda," Oda motioned in the silent language. "And if I may ask, how do you know Clan language?"  
  
"I am called Mamut, the Mog-Ur of this camp. I was hurt as a young man, and came to spend time with a clan. How did you come to be with these people? Are these both your children?"  
  
"The girl is Ura, she is my daughter. She's considered a woman in the Clan, probably not so among the Others. The boy is Durc, the son of Ayla, this woman beside me."  
  
"Deggie, how could you bring flatheads to this camp?" the man who had led his mate away asked loudly. Conversations died down as they waited for a response.  
  
Tulie snapped back before Deggie could reply. "Frebec! How could you be so rude? They are guests here, along with Jondalar and Thonolan. The men would not bring anyone here who would disrupt Lion Camp, and you know that. The woman is not a flathead, you must be mistaken."  
  
Oda spoke up carefully in Mamutoi, looking to Talut as the leader of the Camp. "Actually, I am what you call a flathead. I may as well leave now, if some of you think of me as a danger. I was a friend to Ayla, the other woman with me, and an exile from my Clan, which is what 'flatheads' call themselves. But may my daughter stay with you, for her protection, where she will be taken care of?"  
  
Talut said, "We will not send a mother out into the cold. You are welcome here, as far as I am concerned. Mamut, may the guests stay in Mammoth Hearth?"  
  
"Yes, there is plenty of room. Follow me," Mamut told them.  
  
Mamut led them to the large Mammoth Hearth, which served as a gathering space as well as room for visitors.  
  
"Who was that man that insulted Oda?" Ayla asked him as she stored her things near her temporary sleeping place.  
  
Mamut sighed, thinking of how to explain it. "That was Frebec, the mate of Fralie. The older woman is Crozie, Fralie's mother, and she argues with Frebec quite a bit. He never had much status, and just moved here. He is very insecure, and conscious of differences. For him, differences always lead to shame, and low status."  
  
"That's still no excuse for treating Visitors that way," Jondalar said. "Mamut, may I speak to you after I get my things put away?"  
  
"I think we'll have to talk tomorrow, Jondalar. From some of the things that I overheard, people remember you, but are very curious about the people you brought with you. I think there will be storytelling going on until late tonight," Mamut replied, then left. He wouldn't admit it, but he too was very curious about the people that Jondalar and Thonolan had brought with them.  
  
*  
  
Jondalar, Thonolan, Ayla, Oda, Ura, and Durc each had their own sleeping place in the Mammoth Hearth and their own space to store their things. It was now close to noon, and Thonolan, Oda, and Ura were sleeping on their beds. Durc was spending time with his lynx, getting the almost full-grown cat used to the new surroundings. The children of the camp stayed close to Durc, asking questions about the young lynx.  
  
After visiting some old friends a little, Jondalar headed back to the Mammoth Hearth. He went to his sleeping place and lay down, then got up a few moments later, deciding he had to talk to Ayla. She was sitting on her bed platform, staring at her hands.  
  
"Settling in well, Ayla?" he asked. She nodded. "Do you like it here?" he asked.  
  
"I don't like Frebec, and I don't like how much noise this camp makes. Talut seemed nice, though. He reminded me of Brun, kind of, taking a chance and accepting us."  
  
"Talut's mate, Nezzie, asked us to share a meal with her tonight," Jondalar commented.  
  
Ayla looked at him. "Are you nervous, Jondalar? Or am I reading your signals wrong?"  
  
"My signals?"  
  
"Your body signals, the way you sit, move, the expression on your face."  
  
"Yes, Ayla, I am, a little. I wanted to ask you something." She raised an eyebrow, and he continued, "Remember that time, when we went to pick grain and the others were back at the cave?"  
  
Ayla flushed, remembering. "Yes, I do. What about it? Do you still want me, we haven't coupled since then."  
  
"Of course I still do. But according to the Others, you haven't been opened properly. There was no ceremony, no blessings asked from the Mother."  
  
"Why is that so important? I have a son, and a child on the way, I am certainly not a girl."  
  
"Your body is a woman's but your spirit is still innocent. I took part in many First Rites ceremonies, and I know the change that occurs when a girl is turned into a woman. Her entire attitude and the way she acts and moves changes. I haven't seen that change in you yet."  
  
"So why don't you do the ceremony for me, if you think it is so important?"  
  
"I...misused First Rites. I didn't hurt them, but I fell in love with them. It was wrong. I want your first time to be perfect for you. After what you've been through, you deserve that much."  
  
Ayla crinkled her brow in thought. "Why is love wrong?"  
  
"It's not wrong, listen, we'll talk about that later, just let me make my point before I forget. I don't want you to let anyone other than Mamut know that you are pregnant, it could be used to prevent you from going through the ceremony. Please, at least think about it."  
  
Ayla stood up. "I need to talk to Mamut about some things. I'll see you at Nezzie's tonight." He nodded, and she hugged him and left.  
  
Ayla looked at Mamut, and wondered whether to bother him. He was sitting quietly on a woven grass mat with his eyes closed, apparently meditating. A cup of tea was sitting close by. She stood there a while longer, thinking of all the times she had seen Creb sitting and meditating in much the same way. She cleared her throat, and Mamut opened his eyes and looked up at her.  
  
"Hello, Mamut, I'm sorry to bother you. I just had some things to talk about, but I can come back later if you want me to."  
  
"No, you can stay. I was about to stop and go check on Fralie anyway. Have some tea; it's in the cooking skin over the fire."  
  
Ayla found a cup and scooped some tea out; she tasted mint and pine needles. She wasn't sure where to begin, and told him, "Fralie is only slightly farther along than I am."  
  
"Congratulations, Ayla. Why do you look so troubled?"  
  
"I have never had First Rites, and don't understand why they are so important."  
  
"First Rites is when a girl becomes a woman. A man opens her in order to prepare her to receive the Mother's life-giving power, the power to nurture life and to give birth. Before First Rites, she is considered a girl. In the Clan, their girls are trained to serve men, just like the women do. In a way, their girls are in the process of becoming women from the day they are born. Among the Others, though, there is usually a time of waiting between the girl's first period and the First Rites ceremony. During that time, the rising life force within the girl makes her very attractive to men, and she is vulnerable and highly sought after by men. Girls who do not wait are not well thought of, and they lose status. Sometimes the Mother lets everyone know by allowing the girl to become pregnant."  
  
"So the blame is on the woman, not the men who won't let her alone." Ayla's tone was sharp, and she had an angry look in her eyes.  
  
Mamut decided to change the subject. "Ayla, did you have a mate in the Clan?"  
  
"No. A man treated me harshly, and forced me many times. I thought only men did that to women they liked. Broud told me I was ugly many times. Is that why he did it?"  
  
"It sounds like he wanted to hurt you, but the life force attraction may have been part of it. I'm sorry, Ayla, I didn't mean to insult you. Do you know whose spirit may have made the child you're expecting?"  
  
Ayla smiled. "Jondalar, probably. But he doesn't want me to tell anyone. At least now I understand why. When I knew I was carrying Durc, everyone in the Clan knew within a few days. I feel no different now, I would like to share the news with everyone."  
  
"You can, if you have First Rites before it starts to show. All I would have to do is send a runner to the nearest Camp to get another Mamut's agreement with my decision, and to have a man visit for the ceremony."  
  
"Why have a man from another camp come here?" Ayla asked, continuing in her mind, who might be like Broud. "Jondalar or Thonolan could do it."  
  
"If you don't want a man brought in, that is fine. It's your choice who you share Pleasures with, both for the first time and every time. No man can command you, men can only ask. Ranec, the son of Wymez's mate, is unmated. He had a relationship over the summer, but it didn't turn serious. Or Tulie's mate, Barzec, might be willing."  
  
"I'll think about it. Could Oda and Ura also have First Rites soon?"  
  
"That might take some negotiating. There is quite a bit of prejudice about the Clan among the Mamutoi. They might have to wait at least until the next Summer Meeting."  
  
"Oh. Durc cares for Ura, and wants to mate her soon, though. Thank you, Mamut. I'll go check on Fralie if you want. I am a medicine woman, a healer."  
  
"The Clan medicine woman who healed me, Uba, did a very good job. Perhaps you and I could learn from each other. I'm more interested in things of spirit world."  
  
Ayla shook her head. "I don't think I need to know of the spirit world; I'm happy being a healer."  
  
*  
  
Fralie smiled at Ayla as she entered the Crane hearth. "Hello, you must be Ayla. I am Fralie, mother of this boy here, who is named Crisavec. My mate Frebec isn't here at the moment."  
  
"I don't mind. I came to see you," Ayla said, trying to be polite, even though she was glad she didn't have to deal with Frebec.  
  
Fralie looked embarrassed, remembering her mate's actions. "I'm sure you don't. I'm sorry he caused such a scene. Crisavec, why don't you go and play with the other children." The boy grinned at Ayla and left.  
  
Fralie continued, "I don't believe the way he does about flatheads. He's never had very much status, so he's sensitive about anything that marks people as different from the group. When he was young, he survived by blending in and not being noticed except when he wanted to make a point."  
  
"Arguing seems to make him seem important. He stood taller when he was shouting about me and my friends."  
  
"I'm sorry Ayla. I'll have a talk with him if you like. Now what did you come here for?"  
  
"I wanted to greet you, and to tell you something. I am a medicine woman, a healer, and I was wondering if you knew that you are pregnant."  
  
Fralie smiled. "I started suspecting that a few days ago, and only Frebec, Mother, and Mamut know about it. If you want my names and ties, I am Fralie of the Crane Hearth of the Lion Camp, blessed by the Mother and mother of Crisavec, daughter of Crozie, born to the hearth of her mate Brenan. What are your ties?"  
  
"I am Ayla of No People, mother of Durc of the Clan, friend to the travelers Jondalar and Thonolan."  
  
"What is that word? Glun? And why are you of no people?"  
  
Before Ayla could answer, Frebec walked in and stopped. "Fralie, what are you doing having her over to the hearth?" Then he directed his words to Ayla: "Get out!"  
  
It was a direct order, something Ayla had been trained to obey. She got up and walked out.  
  
*  
  
Oda looked up when Ayla nearly ran back to the Mammoth Hearth. "Ayla, what's wrong?"  
  
"I was talking to Fralie, the mate of the one that made a scene when we came here. Frebec came in and yelled at me to get out."  
  
Fralie followed a few minutes later to sit down next to the two women. "Ayla, I apologize again for my mate's actions. He is definatly getting a talking-to tonight." She turned to Oda. "Greetings, Oda, where's your little girl? And Durc?"  
  
"They're playing over there, with your son and Tulie's son Brinan and some other children. Durc's lynx kitten is there, too," Oda replied.  
  
"A lynx is in here? I hope Durc knows how to control it," Fralie remarked.  
  
"Of course, it's a meat-eater, but it's been taught not to bite people. Just like the horses that I brought with me. They are outside if you want to see them," Ayla said.  
  
"You have horses, too? It seems like I missed a lot when Frebec and Crozie kept me from meeting you. I know Rydag, and he's like Durc and Ura. They're just different, they are not a threat to my baby like Frebec seems to think." Fralie paused, then continued, "But Rydag can't talk, Oda, and he's only half...what you are. How can you speak?"  
  
"The word is Clan, Fralie. Cl-aa-n," Ayla said, pronouncing it clearly. "I apologize for interrupting."  
  
"The Clan has long memories, passed down at birth to each new child. All Clan children need is one reminding to remember what they need. The clan that I belong to has a few members with some ancestors that had Others spirits mixed in to create half-Clan, half-Others children. I am one of those with mixed children in my background."  
  
"How interesting. But Rydag has heart problems. Durc and Ura don't. Do you have any idea why?"  
  
Ayla responded. "Sometimes the mixing doesn't go well for the mother or the child. It is very hard to carry mixed babies to full term, I had a lot of trouble when I was carrying Durc."  
  
Deggie walked by, then stopped short when she saw the women sitting together. "Fralie, Frebec let you come over here?"  
  
"No, he doesn't like it, but I'm carrying his hearth-child and don't feel threatened by these women. Mamut says that the spirit that created my baby is already in place," Fralie told her.  
  
"Oh. Mother wanted me to tell all of you that there will be a storytelling tonight, since we didn't get to it a few days ago when you showed up." With that, Deggie walked off.  
  
*  
  
A few days later --  
  
"Deggie, what's wrong?" Latie asked as they walked towards the woods. A gray cloud haze hung in the sky, and the sun shone through it in places.  
  
"Nothing much. Being a woman is supposed to be so great, but I have to wait to find someone until the next Summer Meeting. There aren't any young men at this camp who aren't related to me in some way."  
  
"Oh. So you're lonely. Danug and Druwez used to be friends with me, but now they're going off by themselves more. You and I used to be good friends, but you're a woman now and have a lot of things to worry about."  
  
"Latie, I'm still your friend. I just thought I could be friends with Ayla, but she's got more in common with Fralie. If she doesn't want my friendship, I don't want to force it on her. Here, help me get this snare down, okay?"  
  
They had reached the woods, and Deggie and Latie were collecting small animals from their snares.  
  
"You seem to be having a lot of hunting luck lately. What are you going to do with all these small animals?" Latie asked.  
  
"Well, I've got a couple aurochs furs, too, from the last hunt. I've already sewed them together, so I figured I'd sew the animal fur onto the aurochs furs and make a nice blanket for winter. My other one is getting frayed around the edges. What about you?"  
  
Latie grinned as she held up several brown foxes. "I think I'll just save them to decorate clothes."  
  
Tulie was waiting for them by the entrance when they returned a short time later. She helped them out of their parkas and brought them back to the hearth for tea.  
  
*  
  
On the way to check on the horses, Ayla noticed that Deggie gave her a strange look from within the hearth. She made a mental note to talk to her later. When she reached the entrance, she became aware of a gradually worsening argument between Jondalar, Frebec, and Crozie. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck raise, and she turned back around. Jondalar was looking at her with an exasperated look on his face.  
  
"What is it?" Ayla asked when she had walked over to the Crane Hearth.  
  
"Bring your son over, Ayla. Frebec wants to see how the mixing of spirits affects a child. I've tried and tried to explain things to him, but he won't listen to me," Jondalar said.  
  
Ayla shook her head and said to Frebec, "Your mate's child won't be harmed by the spirits of anyone here. The spirit that made them is already in place."  
  
"I know. I never got to look at Rydag closely, I was afraid for Fralie so I kept her and myself away. But you're spending a lot of time with Fralie now, and your mixed...child is a male. Someday the spirit might spread."  
  
"And what if it does? It will only cause a rather difficult pregnancy. I've had a mixed child. Do I look damaged, or tainted, to you?" Ayla asked, looking into Frebec's gray eyes.  
  
Uncomfortable, Frebec looked away. "No, you don't. But everyone believes that women who bear children of mixed spirits are, especially those in the Camp that I grew up with. I was rude to you becuase I believed that, and don't want anything threatening my mate, especially at this time. You're asking me to change my mind, to say that everything I grew up with is wrong. My beliefs won't change overnight; I have to be allowed to think about it."  
  
Crozie spoke up then. "And while Fralie is pregnant, you can spend time with her if you want, but I'm going to be watching so that I can tell if her pregnancy takes a turn for the worst."  
  
* Durc smiled at Rydag as the two boys met at the Mammoth Hearth. Durc put a finger to his lips, then pointed to his still sleeping mother nearby. It was close to the noon meal, and Rydag beckoned Durc to walk with him back to Nezzie's hearth. The tamed lynx of Durc's trailed behind them.  
  
When they got there, Rugie smiled at the lynx and reached for him. The cat trotted over and sniffed her hands, then left to walk over to where Nezzie was cooking the noon meal. He tried to stick his nose in the cooking pot, and Nezzie pushed him away gently.  
  
"I think he's hungry, mother. Can I feed him something?" Latie asked, putting down some sewing.  
  
"Sure, there's some dried meat in the basket over there." Nezzie turned and then saw the boys. "Oh, I just thought the lynx had wandered over. Do you want to eat with us, Durc?"  
  
"Sure. Mother is still sleeping; I thought Rydag and I could go play later. I also wanted to ask you something."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Can I try to teach Rydag to talk?"  
  
"Durc, he can't, his vocal cords are different than ours."  
  
"The language I grew up with, Clan language, doesn't use many spoken words. They use gestures, like this," Durc said, then motioned, "See, mother of my friend Rydag?"  
  
"What was that word you said?"  
  
"Your son's name, the way the Clan says it."  
  
Latie spoke up. "It's also the way he says it when he greets someone. Where's Danug, mother?"  
  
"Eating with Druwez. You can try to teach him, if you want to."  
  
They were about to eat when a snow-covered journeyer appeared in the entrance to the lodge. He took off his parka and boots, then started walking towards them.  
  
As he approached Nezzie's hearth, she stood, and could see his mesmerizing gray eyes.  
  
"Vincavec, what are you doing here? You have a camp to run, I believe it was called Musk-Ox Camp. Do you need help with the old lodge, has the side fallen in again?"  
  
"I'm not here about the lodge, the supports are holding up that old wall just fine now. I heard there was an unusual woman here who needed First Rites, and wanted to volunteer myself for the service."  
  
Nezzie shivered; she didn't like the thought of Ayla anywhere near the charismatic and devious man. "Yes, we do have a new woman who is of unusual appearance. Her name is Oda, and she is living at Mammoth Hearth if you want to meet her. But surely you'll sit down to a noon meal with us."  
  
Vincavec sat down. Durc slipped away to Mammoth Hearth to warn the mother of his future mate-to-be.  
  
Oda looked up as Durc came into the hearth. "Where's Rydag, Durc, I thought you were with him."  
  
"He's with Nezzie. Oda, there's something I have to tell you. A man is here for your First Rites. I think he was after Mama, but Nezzie said that you were the woman who needed them. So play along okay? cause I don't want Vincavec near Mama," the boy said in a rush of words.  
  
"Yes, Durc, of course. It doesn't matter who does my First Rites, but why do you think he is such a danger?"  
  
"It's the way he stands," Durc signaled silently now as he noticed the man walking into where he was within earshot. "He may be dangerous, or just deceitful, so be careful."  
  
*  
  
The tall man appeared slightly aback as he took in Oda's appearance. She stood, and looked directly into his eyes, but couldn't see much in them, as if he were hiding. It wasn't time to be a shy Clan woman now, and she knew it.  
  
"Greetings, Oda, I am Vincavec, leader of Mammoth Camp. I'm here for your First Rites, as I assume you're aware. Well, the things I heard promised an unusual beauty, and I'm not disappointed," he said smoothly. Actually, he still wasn't sure what to think. He had been taught that Clan women were animals, but she certainly didn't look like one. Oda's brown eyes were clear, and her dark hair fell close to her waist. She was taller than most Clan women, and her brow ridges only made her eyes appear to be deep-set.  
  
Ura came back just then from tending the horses, and saw Vincavec. She narrowed her eyes, not sure she liked the calculating look that was in his eyes as he looked at her mother. She turned her back and went to Tulie's hearth to spend some time with Deggie.  
  
"That was my daughter who just walked past. Her name is Ura, and her soon- to-be mate is Durc, the boy with the lynx that just left here. Durc's mother is Ayla, who is not around at the moment."  
  
"The mixed boy has a lynx? Is he training to be in the Mamutii?"  
  
"No, the lynx is one whose mother he killed. It's a friend, or a pet. He doesn't have any special powers. You seem interested, though. Why?"  
  
"As well as being leader of my camp, I am also Mamut for it."  
  
"If you're such a great man, why can't you build a better lodge for your camp? The only story I've heard about your camp is that the lodge wall fell in," Oda said, deliberately being blunt. If he hits me now, I will choose another man. Hitting women is allowed in the Clan; it's not allowed here, she thought to herself.  
  
Vincavec's fists clenched at his sides, but he smiled. "I like your spirit. Actually, we will be building a new lodge as soon as I find a mate. My sister and her man are impatient for me to settle down. Will you tell me about yourself?"  
  
"Certainly. I grew up with a Clan closer to the mainland than most. I matured young, and mated at the age of...oh, probably about eleven. I had a beautiful little daughter, but some Others men attacked me and some other women one day. My baby was killed, but I gave birth to Ura soon after. The Clan Gathering, which is a bit like your Summer Meeting, but once every seven years, happened, and Ayla promised her son Durc would mate Ura. Some accidents happened, and Ura got blamed for them. My mate was killed, and Ura and I were Cursed, cast out. We wandered, and found Ayla and her son living in a valley with two horses and the lynx. A winter passed, and Thonolan and Jondalar showed up. We eventually made a choice to come live with the Mamutoi, since the men had lived with this camp before for a short time."  
  
Vincavec stood up to go. He touched her cheek with his hand, then left. Only after he was on the other side of the lodge did Oda realize that she had learned next to nothing about him. 


	6. Chapter 6

"Nezzie, having Oda have First Rites with Vincavec is unacceptable. I'll do it before I'll let you leave Oda to his mercies. Think of Rydag's mother, would you have her suffer such a thing? Oda is no different," Talut said that night as they lay in their furs.  
  
"It was either that or let him have First Rites with Ayla. Oda is used to having men try to control her, she's a mature woman and should know how to deal with him. She needs to grow up mentally and learn to deal with manipulative people. Besides, I care for Ayla like a daughter, and she's only been here a moon."  
  
"We need an alliance with Mammoth Camp, but this is not the way that it should come about. It would profane the Mother. I'll ask Oda who she would have as a partner from the Lion Camp tomorrow."  
  
"All right, then, but you can deal with Vincavec when he hears the news. What about Ayla and Ura's First Rites? And Durc's manhood ceremony, in a few moons probably. The boy's voice is changing, and he certainly acts mature. He genuinely cares for people."  
  
"I think I can talk to Jondalar or Thonolan and convince them to do the ceremony for Ayla. Wymez could do Oda's ceremony. He likes unusual women, he was with Ranec's mother, and always sleeps around at the Summer Meetings. As for Ura, maybe Tarneg, Deggie's brother. He hasn't left to be with a woman to form a camp yet."  
  
"Tarneg is barely a man, he can't know enough to make Ura a woman."  
  
"He's had his manhood rites, the training is still fresh in his mind. And we can't have Durc do it, he hasn't been trained, although Ura would probably prefer Durc. I'll have to talk to all of them."  
  
"Why don't you let me talk to them. And what about Durc's manhood training? I can't do it; it would be like training Rydag. I don't know if Tulie would be willing, or Fralie. Tronie might be willing. I don't know, why don't I talk to Mamut tomorrow about all this, just to see what he thinks of our plans?"  
  
*  
  
"Ayla, are you awake?" Jondalar's voice came through the curtain that Ayla had drawn around her bed.  
  
"Yes, come in. I'm just checking the lynx's eye. Hold still," she instructed the animal, holding his face in her hands. She peered into his eye. "I think he got a spark in one." Ayla released the animal.  
  
"Yeah, probably. How are you doing?" Jondalar sat down and scratched the lynx behind the ears. The cat gave a grunting purr and sat for a moment, then jumped down from the bed.  
  
"Fine. I'm about two moons along, and the morning sickness has stopped. Mamut says I am to become Mamutoi and have my First Rites in about a moon. Ura and Oda may have their First Rites, too, if it can be arranged."  
  
"Good. I wish I hadn't made so many mistakes with the women at First Rites when I was younger. I would do it for you, then."  
  
"You still can, if you are willing," Ayla smiled. "I still don't understand what you did wrong."  
  
"I fell in love. You aren't supposed to fall in love with new women on that night. When I opened them, I was serving as an agent of the Mother's divine power. It was a sacred thing."  
  
"I would argue that love is sacred, too. It's a Gift from the Mother just as much as Pleasure. Love makes you feel warm and good, and that can't be bad."  
  
"Maybe you're right. I'll have to think about it. Goodnight, Ayla." He kissed her forehead, then rested a hand on her shoulder for a moment. Then, in an impulsive moment, he pushed her back on the furs and lay atop her, kissing her face and neck. She wrapped her arms around him.  
  
"Jondalar," Ayla half spoke, half moaned, reluctantly letting go. "I think you'd better go. But one thing: Please be the one for my First Rites."  
  
Jondalar smiled ruefully, adjusting his shirt over a bulge in his trousers. "I don't think I can keep myself from the ceremony. Give me time, though, to deal with and think over a few things. I love you, and goodnight."  
  
"I love you, too." She stayed where she was on the bed, smiling to herself until she drifted off to sleep.  
  
*  
  
A few days later, Wymez was standing in his living space, talking to Talut. "I would be happy to participate in Oda's ceremony. She is unusual, and interested in many things. She spent time with me about a week ago learning the different ways I have of working with flint. She was confused by some tools she saw me use, but that doesn't mean she's unintelligent. She's kind, also, and treats her daughter well."  
  
Ranec came out of his sleeping space just then to see Talut and Wymez talking. "What about me? I could do the ceremony for her."  
  
"For Oda?" Wymez questioned.  
  
"No...I thought you two were talking about Ayla."  
  
"Too bad, Ranec, Ayla already has a partner chosen," Jondalar told him. He had originally walked into Fox Hearth to talk to Wymez, and had heard the tail end of the conversation.  
  
"Who's the lucky man?" Ranec asked. Jondalar's pleased smirk told him the answer. Jondalar wasn't dumb; he had seen the way Ranec had stared when Ayla was introduced.  
  
Ranec shrugged, retrieved some ivory from a shelf in Wymez's dwelling, and headed back to his space to carve.  
  
Jondalar saw that Wymez and Talut weren't done talking, so he headed to the cooking hearth to wait.  
  
Wymez continued, "But Talut, there is one thing. Ayla, Oda, and Ura have to be accepted among the Mamutoi before there can be any ceremonies. I would be willing to adopt Durc, Ayla's son, to Fox Hearth so he can have his manhood rites soon. Someone else will have to adopt the others, though. You can figure out the hearth-tie relationships, it's beyond me."  
  
"Thanks, Wymez. Now I need to find hearths for Ayla, Ura, and Oda. And the men, too, if they want to become Mamutoi."  
  
*  
  
Wymez adopted Durc, and began to trade for things to make him a hearth of his own in Fox Hearth. After some halfhearted protests from Crozie and Frebec, Fralie decided to adopt Ura to Crane hearth as a daughter. Nezzie and Talut decided to adopt Oda to Lion Hearth, not as a daughter, but as an aunt for the children. At the ceremony, Mamut, in a surprising moment, announced that Ayla was destined to be a daughter of Mammoth Hearth. Thonolan and Jondalar agreed to be accepted to Reindeer Hearth as Tronie's adopted sons. Jondalar wanted to mate Ayla, and this was the only way the Mamutoi would allow it, if he was Mamutoi. But, in his heart, he was still Zelandoni.  
  
There was an adoption ceremony, with gifts given by all. Throughout the winter, Oda and Ayla and Ura had been making furs, baskets, mats, clothes, and weapons. Durc had made quite an array of weapons and stone tools over the winter, and gave them out as gifts. Then, when Jondalar and Thonolan arrived, some new ways of making things were learned, and more things had accumulated at the back of Ayla's cave. The group had brought roughly half of what they had made, and planned to go back for the rest in the spring or summer.  
  
Before the celebration began, Mamut called for silence, and then ordered all the fires to be put out. The people shivered and wondered what was going on as they sat for a moment in the dark. Then they gave a collective gasp as a spark lit up Ayla's face and a fire was started within seconds, as if by magic.  
  
"How did you do that?" Frebec, who had been standing close by, asked.  
  
"With these stones. This one here is flint, and this one is the stone that starts the fire. You strike them together and it makes a spark. Here, you can have these, to thank you for adopting the daughter of my friend, who is my son's future mate."  
  
Frebec turned away slightly as he took the stones. "It was Fralie's idea, but my thanks for the firestones. Her pregnancy is going well, by the way. Thank you for caring for her."  
  
"Do you have more of those?" Tornec, Tronie's mate, asked.  
  
"Yes, enough for each hearth to have a set. We only were able to find them on the beach in Ayla's valley, though. We'll be going back in the spring or summer to get them, and the things we left," Jondalar answered.  
  
The talking and discussion went on, then Deggie and someone else began playing music, and the dancing began. There was bouza passed around, but Ayla, Durc, Ura, and Oda were not allowed to drink it. They sat with Latie, who looked like she felt left out of things. Tarneg smiled at Ayla, grabbed her and Latie's hands, and taught them both some Mamutoi steps.  
  
"You are Deggie's brother, right?" Ayla asked.  
  
"Yes. I'm going to be participating in Ura's First Rites. She seems a little young for it, though."  
  
Latie spoke up. "She seems like she's about my age. Do people of the Clan mature faster, Ayla?"  
  
"Yes, they do. Rydag will probably be a man in a few years, physically at least." If he lives, Ayla thought to herself. She changed the subject. "I've never danced before, but this is fun."  
  
"Really, not ever?"  
  
"Well, not like this, with a man. We had a Woman's Dance that we did at Gatherings, but that was...not to be seen in public," Ayla blushed.  
  
Tarneg wondered at her blush, but decided not to pry. "Are you enjoying the music?"  
  
"Yes, it's not like anything I've ever heard before." The three of them danced a few more dances, then Latie slipped away to sit with Ura, who was talking to Durc. The lynx moved off the platform to make room for the girl to sit, then began to weave between the dancers, searching for someone.  
  
"Look, the lynx is trying to dance, too!" someone yelled, which caused an outburst of laughter.  
  
The lynx found who he was looking for. Rydag was sitting on his furs, watching the activities of the celebrating people. The lynx jumped up on the bed platform, and stayed there until Rydag went to sleep.  
  
*  
  
Oda was nervous. She had been preparing for her First Rites for an entire day now, and was left at loose ends, sitting on a bed platform that had been curtained off and set aside for ceremonial use. She wasn't at all sure what this Others man, Wymez, would want her to do. Her conditioning was still strong to please a man rather than letting him please her. Would he be more like her mate had been before Ura's birth, or would he be like that man that had started Ura and killed her young baby. Ayla and Ura were also sitting on curtained-off platforms, waiting for their First Rites.  
  
She heard a thump and a gasp, and stepped out from behind the curtain. Rydag was lying on the floor of Lion Hearth. She ran to him, followed closely behind by Ayla and Ura.  
  
"Ura, get my medicine bag," Ayla ordered, after taking the boy's pulse. Ura obeyed, then came running back with the bag open, rummaging through it.  
  
"What are you doing, Ura?" Ayla asked. "I need the pouch that has foxglove in it, give me my medicine bag. Now."  
  
Ura handed it over. "The medicine woman of our camp, she was training me a little. There was a man with a very bad heart problem, like Rydag's. The woman taught me something stronger than foxglove, since someone always needed to be around that could treat him. Open the pouches and let me smell them, I memorized herbs by scent."  
  
"All right, Ura, we'll go over that later, for now let me get the foxglove going. Start water boiling, Nezzie. Talut, open the boy's shirt, to make it easier for him to breathe."  
  
Talut and Nezzie quickly complied. Soon, the boy was breathing and starting to wake up, but very pale. Ayla quickly made the remedy and had someone help him sit up to drink it. Durc and the lynx appeared sometime while Ayla was making the remedy. The cat sat at Rydag's feet and wouldn't be moved. Durc stood behind his mother, afraid for his friend.  
  
*  
  
After Rydag was obviously feeling better, Durc tugged on Mamut's sleeve before the old man could go back to his hearth. "Mamut, my lynx is determined to stay by Rydag. Is that a good sign, or not? Please don't say that Rydag is going to die."  
  
"No one knows how long their life is, Durc, that's one of the things we learn as we grow up. But I will say this: Rydag is happier than I have ever seen him, since you and Ura and the cat came into his life. I think he doesn't feel so alone, so different, anymore."  
  
Oda moved from where she had been, sitting by Rydag. "Talut, I know I am supposed to be isolated and waiting for my First Rites partner, but I have a question. Do you want me to wait another night? What about Ayla and Ura, you will need help if Rydag has trouble again."  
  
"Ayla and Ura are discussing healing right now with Nezzie, and I think it would be best if all of you waited another day."  
  
They all went to sleep quite late that night. Before they went to sleep, Ura and Ayla combined their healing knowledge, and gave Rydag a concoction of foxglove and another stimulant for his heart that would also help make his breathing easier. The lynx, sensing that Rydag was out of danger and feeling better, went back to curl up at Durc's feet on his sleeping platform. 


	7. Chapter 7

Ura smiled nervously at Tarneg as he pulled back the curtain and sat next to her on the bed. She wore a newly made plain deerskin tunic and leggings, made in the style of 'the Others' by Oda, who had copied the design off of the outfits Ayla had made. Tarneg wore a nicely made tunic and leggings made to fit. Ura looked at her hands, which rested on the bed. The white fur of a very rare wolf from the north was the top fur of the bed.  
  
She looked up, and noticed that he had two cups in his hands. He handed her one, and drank deeply from the one he held. She drank from hers, and winced at the strong bite of alcohol, probably bouza. Tarneg reached for her hand and held it, stroking his thumb over her palm and looking into her eyes. She noticed that his hair was the same shade as his sister Deggie's, a dark reddish brown, and his eyes were brown with flecks of gold in them. She felt relaxation gradually spreading through her limbs, and leaned against him as he put an arm around her.  
  
He kissed her on the crown of the head, where her brown hair was so dark it was almost black, then looked into her eyes. Her browridges were almost unnoticeable in the soft lamplight that filled the small space. A muta, Mother figure, shaped like a bird was next to the lamp on a low table.  
  
"I know you wouldn't think of me as beautiful," Ura told him, "and that's all right. I just appreciate the opportunity you and the Mamutoi are giving me, to become a woman suitable for mating the one I love."  
  
"I know you love Durc, and I bet you wish he was here with you rather than me. I really don't mind the way you look, and wouldn't have noticed it if you didn't mention it. It's okay, Ura, just relax. Are you tired?"  
  
"No, just my head is spinning from whatever that drink was."  
  
"It was bouza. I won't try anything until you want to, we have all night for pleasures. Just lay down here with me," he said, patting the bed.  
  
She lay down, closed her eyes, and got comfortable, then smiled as she felt his arms wrap around her. She lay there for a few minutes, then smiled again as she felt him kiss her mouth. She felt a shiver trace its way down her spine as he deepened the kiss, and soon felt as if she were falling in a dizzying rush of feeling as he kissed her face and neck. She felt him trace his hands down her body, awakening sensations that she didn't know were there. She didn't protest when he gently helped her remove her clothes. He removed his own clothes, and she looked at him, then shut her eyes and wrapped her arms tightly around him, half afraid and half wanting what she knew was next. He embraced her again, stroking her hair and back in an attempt to calm her.  
  
"Are you alright?" he asked. She opened her eyes, smiled a little, and nodded. He moved over her, entered carefully, and took his time showing her more pleasure. Afterward, he rolled to the side and let her get up and clean herself in a basin nearby. He wrapped an arm around her when she lay back down. They slept for a time, then shared Pleasures a few more times, with him showing her more pleasure and new ways of pleasing him.  
  
*  
  
Ura got up the next morning to find Tarneg gone. She crawled out of the furs and stretched lazily, like a cat. She cleaned herself and pulled the curtain back. She was a bit startled to find Tronie sleeping alone on a platform nearby. She touched the woman's arm, and the woman jumped awake.  
  
"I'm alright, Tronie, don't worry. Were you a watcher last night?" Ura asked.  
  
"Yes, I was a watcher for you and Ayla. I must have fallen asleep. You're supposed to bring the white fur to Mamut, for proof. He will clean it of the stains and give it back to you when you become pregnant with your first child. That will be your child's birth blanket. Nezzie sat on an empty platform and watched, or rather listened for, evidence that your mother's ceremony was completed."  
  
Ura nodded. "Is there any tea at the cooking hearth? Tarneg gave me some bouza last night and it made my mouth dry."  
  
"I don't know, let's go check. Oh, never mind, I have tea at my own hearth. Why don't you go by yourself." Ura crinkled her brow at Tronie's sudden change of mind, but headed to the cooking hearth anyway.  
  
Durc was there, and almost spilled tea on himself when he saw Ura. "Oh, hello Ura. Sleep well?"  
  
"Yes, I did. Good morning."  
  
Durc didn't say much, just handed her a cup of tea. He waited for her to finish drinking, then bluntly asked, "So, do I still get a chance to mate you? Or do you love Tarneg now?"  
  
"No, Durc, I love you. I even called out your name once when..., well, when I knew Pleasure," Ura said quickly, blushing.  
  
"You did? I heard, but I thought I was dreaming. I guess you haven't heard that I'm to have my manhood training soon."  
  
"I've noticed your voice changing, and you're taller. But you had your first hunt in the valley, remember? With Thonolan and Jondalar."  
  
"Yes, I know, but I have to prove myself to everyone here. I want to make Wymez happy that he adopted me to Fox Hearth, and I want to be worthy of you. I ran out of spears and knives to give at the gathering to have one for you, so I'm sorry I can't give you anything." He paused, then smiled as an idea came to his mind. "But I'll give you this." He kissed her square on the mouth, and held her close in a hug.  
  
"That's quite a gift," she smiled when he moved away, "but I'd better go."  
  
*  
  
Oda approached the Cooking Hearth shortly after Durc left. She gestured a greeting to her daughter. Oda had awakened and dressed quietly, so as not to wake anyone. She had overheard the conversation between Ura and Durc. The woman had politely stayed out of it, knowing that they had to work out their own differences.  
  
Ura took a few cups of tea and brought one to her, and gestured, "Why aren't you talking out loud?"  
  
Oda answered, "Many people are asleep. Ayla and Jondalar are still in their First Rites bed, and they aren't to be disturbed. I think I will go to Fralie's hearth and do some sewing today. Or rather, try to do some sewing. The way the Others decorate clothes is difficult to learn, with all those tiny beads and feathers to be sewn on."  
  
"Fralie said something about teaching me a way of decorating, putting different colors and textures from different furs together. She calls it patchwork, and she says its easier to do than decorating clothes. Maybe if she's not too busy, you and I can try that."  
  
"We'll have to wait until she wakes up, though. Pregnant women seem to sleep later, or at least I did when I was carrying you."  
  
"Mother, is it possible to know when you're pregnant? When did you know?"  
  
"Some women know right away, but the medicine woman of our clan always knew before I did. I didn't know until she told me, the first time, but carrying you was quite different for me, and I definitely knew right away then. Why do you ask?"  
  
Ura shrugged, then motioned, "I don't know. I just feel odd this morning. It's probably just my body adjusting, like the women explained to me that I would feel different the morning after. I'm going to spend time with the horses, all right? I'll see you at Fralie's hearth later today." I hope I'm not expecting so soon after First Rites, Ura thought to herself as she put on her parka and headed out of the entrance. Durc will be upset.  
  
*  
  
A week later --  
  
After checking on the horses, Durc headed back to his new living space within the Fox Hearth. He got out some flintworking tools and sat down in a cleared off space away from his bedding. He squinted at the piece of flint in front of him, then carefully chipped off some blades. He started to dull one end of the knives he had made, Clan style, then changed his mind and left the edges as they were. He went and rummaged through a basket of various materials by where he kept his flintworking tools. He got out some pieces of wood, and a finished knife. He gouged a place for the blades to go into in the wood, and fitted the blades to the handles after some reshaping of the handles.  
  
He spent time smoothing the handles to avoid splinters and make the handles fit his hand, then took the half-finished knives to Wymez, who was sitting on a mat in his space, staring at a different looking piece of flint.  
  
"Wymez, where's the sinew and glue for putting handles on knives?"  
  
"Oh, you tried that, hmm. Well, I think I might have some left, but you'll have to let me look for them." The man was obviously distracted.  
  
"What's wrong with the flint?" Durc asked. "It looks glossy."  
  
"I don't know. I dropped it into the fire a couple days ago, and fished it out to see if I could salvage it. I've been so busy lately that I haven't had time to work with it." Wymez handed him a small chunk of the fired flint. "Here, see if you can make anything from it. I'm going to try and see what it can be used for later."  
  
"Thanks. Can you look at these handles and see if I've worked on them enough. I'm still not very sure of how to make knives with handles."  
  
"I'll do that, but I think it's time for the evening meal already. I'm going to the Cooking Hearth to see if I can find something quick to eat. Then I can get back to work on this flint. Why don't you come eat with me?"  
  
"Sure. I didn't realize that it had gotten so late."  
  
*  
  
"Well, I'd cook at my hearth, but as you can see, it's pretty much devoted to my craft," Wymez told Durc as they walked back from the cooking hearth.  
  
Durc brought a mat over to Wymez's space to work with him on the fired flint. He wanted to finish the knives, too.  
  
Wymez gave him the sinew and glue to finish the knives, then let him work after some brief instructions. Durc was in the middle of tying moistened sinew around one of the knives when an outburst from Wymez made him look up.  
  
"Great Muna, this is incredible," Wymez said, holding up an almost perfectly made axe. It was not primitive by any means, but shiny and knapped to have a sharp cutting edge on both sides.  
  
"Let me see that," Durc said. Wymez handed it over after examining it for a while longer. "I wonder if I can I do that with a knife, too, rather than have just a cutting edge on one side of the knife?"  
  
"I think I've found the perfect piece of flint. If I just get flint with no inclusions, and put it in the fire for awhile, I think it can be shaped to be just about anything I want. Why don't you go get Jondalar, he'd want to see this," Wymez said.  
  
As Durc walked across the lodge to find Jondalar, he passed by Ura on the way. She smiled at him, then looked uneasy for a minute. He wondered what was going on, and decided to spend some time with her tomorrow.  
  
*  
  
A few weeks later...  
  
Durc handed the teasel comb to Ura and moved to stand a few feet away over by Whinney's brother, Firestone. Ura patted Whinney's nose and moved to brush the other side. While they brushed ice out of the horses' coats, they 'talked' to the horses using animal sounds and Clan and Mamutoi words, but consisting mostly of silent gestures. The horses may or may not have understood the things that were said, but they understood that they were being cared for.  
  
Durc 'told' the male horse: "Jondalar spoke to Mamut. Mamut said that I'll have to wait for my training until the Summer Meeting. Jondalar mentioned the fact that he felt too much for his donii woman because they were from the same cave, and were together a lot, both during training and day-to- day. Oh well, it'll give me time to grow a little more. I'm still shorter than Wymez and most of the other Mamutoi men. I just hope Ura's totem isn't defeated by someone else, I don't know how I'd deal with that. It may have happened already, or at least Ura thinks so. Mother and Oda say that it's still too soon to tell, though. As for you, Firestone, you're pretty close to being grown up. Are you going to run away and be the leader of a herd, someday?"  
  
Ura 'told' Whinney: "I don't know if I want a child yet. Tarneg was nice to me, but I want to have Durc's spirit's babies. Durc didn't even take me seriously when I told him, and neither did Mother or Ayla. They all think I don't know what I am talking about. Well, you're a grown up female horse, I wonder when you'll find a mate."  
  
Oda stepped out of the entrance of the lodge and called, "Ura, Durc, I'm sure the horses are fine. Why don't you come back inside the lodge, it's quite cold."  
  
"The cold doesn't really bother me, and besides, I have my parka on," Ura told her, but left Whinney's side and headed back into the lodge. Durc followed her. 


	8. Chapter 8

Greetings, Fralie. How are you doing?" Ayla asked. She had come over to try some beadwork with the woman.  
  
"Fine. Ura isn't so good though, she's laying down. Your son is sitting with her."  
  
"Is she sick, can I do anything?"  
  
Crozie answered. "I don't think so, Ayla. The Mother withdrew her blessing from her late last night. When I was twelve, I lost a child. It was very traumatic for me. I knew enough to be able to take care of her, so don't worry, but maybe you could do something for her spirit, though."  
  
Crozie was sitting by the fire with a garment in her hands. Some beads and pieces of fur, obviously meant for decoration, were on the ground near her.  
  
Ayla walked over to where Ura's sleeping place was partitioned off from the rest. The inner curtain around her bed was drawn, and Durc was sitting nearby.  
  
"Hello, Mama. Ura is upset, can you talk to her? I was trying to make her feel better, but I don't think I helped."  
  
"These things take time to heal. Sometimes the spirit can take longer than the body to heal from something like this. There was a woman in our clan who kept losing babies, she was often depressed."  
  
Ura pulled back the curtain using a tie that was by the head of the bed. "Durc, you help me just by being here, but I need to talk to her about this. Can you do anything to make me feel better, Ayla? Physically, I feel okay, I don't hurt anywhere, but I'm confused. I'm sad and I'm relieved at the same time. I'm supposed to want to be Blessed, but I didn't really want to. I'm too young, I'm not sure I know how to care for a child. And I'm sad because I don't know what the child would have been like."  
  
Ayla paused for a moment. This really wasn't her strong suit; she was used to dealing with physical symptoms. "It's going to take time to recover from this, Ura. I don't know if I can do anything for your mood, or to help you sort your feelings out. The only thing I can tell you is to not feel guilty about whatever you're feeling. If your stomach starts hurting, or if you start having severe mood swings, tell Fralie and she'll let me know. I want you to let me check to make sure your body is healing correctly, and I want you to rest for a week at least. I'll probably be checking on you every day for a while."  
  
Durc squeezed Ura's hand and left the area. The lynx, which Ayla hadn't noticed had been in the room, followed him.  
  
*  
  
"So Ura lost the baby? I feel bad for her," Rydag gestured. "How are you taking it, it could have been of your spirit, since you are almost a man," he continued. They were sitting at Mamut's hearth after supper, having some tea.  
  
"I don't know what to think. It could have been mine, but that's not likely. The baby was probably of Tarneg's spirit. I would have been a little jealous if she mated Tarneg rather than me, but I didn't want her to lose it. Why does the Mother do such things?" Durc motioned.  
  
Mamut tried to answer his question. "No one knows why. The Mother may have decided that it just wasn't the right time for Ura to have a child. Physically, she is a woman, but in her spirit she may need to grow up a little more, and gain enough confidence to learn how to raise a child. There's no easy way to explain some things that happen."  
  
Mamut continued, "I had a long time to recover from my injury when I stayed with Ayla's Clan. I was allowed to hunt, and a woman was given to me as a mate. I learned later that she had little status, and no one wanted to mate her. She didn't have any particular skills, and was given food and clothing, but just enough to survive. She treated me well, like I was the best thing to ever happen to her. She didn't have any children, and often asked me why, because she knew that I knew about spiritual things. I wasn't able to give her an answer, either. I often thought about her, even after I made my way back to the Mamutoi. Ayla told me that the woman lived to be old, and died in an earthquake."  
  
*  
  
Fralie caught Rydag's eye as they passed each other in the lodge. "Can you watch Crisavec for me please? I wanted to get something from storage for a roast I'm making tonight, " Fralie signaled to him. They walked back to Crane Hearth.  
  
"Sure. I'm glad Ayla and Durc taught all of you how to speak with me," the boy replied. "Where's Frebec and Ura?"  
  
"He decided to teach her to use a throwing stick. He said that it was a nice day out and she needed something to do. It's been almost a moon since her trouble, and she has fully recovered."  
  
"Good. I hope her spirit is healing, too. Durc was worried about her."  
  
Fralie nodded and left, then came back with some vegetables and herbs used for seasoning. Rydag left and checked in with Nezzie, letting her know that he was feeling fine. Then he walked over to Durc's hearth.  
  
"Hi, Rydag," Durc told him. "Come sit down, I want to show you something that Wymez and I figured out. Look at this flint ax."  
  
"It looks burned or damaged," he signaled.  
  
"It's not ruined, the fire changed it. Fire makes the flint break cleanly off the core, so you can make a strong knife or ax or adze with a point like a spear. The cutting edge of this ax is on both sides, so you get more use out of it."  
  
"You sound like Jondalar, all wrapped up in working with flint. Don't you think of anything else?" Rydag teased.  
  
"I want to be good at something. No, I want to be skilled, not just good at it. Are you learning a craft?"  
  
"I haven't found anything I'm really interested in that I can do. If my heart keeps bothering me, I won't be able to hunt. I can't run or play with the other children, except for you, because you know that I'm sick and you slow down for me to catch up. I'm not interested in carving, like Ranec, and I don't want to do sewing like Fralie. And I'm not interested in the spirit world like Mamut."  
  
"There are a lot of things you can do, though. You're good with the younger children and you always seem interested when Nezzie starts cooking something with a bunch of herbs in it."  
  
"Those are woman's things, though, at least mostly. I don't know what I can do. Even though there are other things with it, your first hunt is part of becoming a man. I won't even be able to be counted as a man." Learning the Clan language had brought all of Rydag's memories forward, and the fact that he probably wouldn't be able to hunt bothered him.  
  
Durc put the ax down. "Making tools and weapons is a skill that's worthy of respect, too. And you might be able to hunt just once, if Ura and Ayla make that special medicine for you again."  
  
"I don't want an attack like what happened again. When I woke up, I thought I was in the spirit world. I saw Oda, and I thought she was my mother."  
  
"I didn't know you woke up before they gave you the medicine," Durc replied.  
  
"It may have been for just a second or two. I'm sorry to be so angry, and to take it out on you. You're my friend, I shouldn't do that. You can't do anything for my heart, anyway."  
  
"Why don't you let me and Wymez and Jondalar try to teach you how to work with flint? You don't have to make weapons for someone else, you can always just make tools, or something. You're not useless, Rydag, you have a reason for being here. We all do, even if the spirits don't let us know it."  
  
*  
  
Ayla looked at Mamut as he walked to where she was sitting on the ground, working on some new foot coverings. She put the half-finished shoes aside and smiled at him. He sat down beside her.  
  
"Creb didn't like to sit on the ground, it was difficult for him," Ayla said.  
  
"It's difficult for me, too. Arthritis gets worse every winter. But how are you doing?"  
  
"I'm fine. The baby is growing well, and my morning sickness has stopped. I'm in my fourth moon now, and should feel movement soon. Mamut, I wanted to ask you something. Is there any training you can give me to help people feel better when they are grieving? Ura was so upset when she lost her baby, and asked me to make her feel better, but I really didn't know what to say."  
  
"Sometimes, feelings just have to be lived through. There is no treatment for them, although herbs and things can be used to alter a person's general mood. There are also herbs used to open the persons' eyes to the spirit world. Religion, the way we believe the world is set up by the spirits, can be used for a person to comfort them or give them guidance. It's easy to depend on something outside yourself, but at some point you also need to find the strength inside yourself to keep living. I believe you think of the strength in yourself as your totem."  
  
Ayla shook her head. "My totem gives me strength, but he is not me. He lives in the spirit world, and comes here when I need him or the Mog-Ur calls him."  
  
"You wear an amulet. That and the things in it are of this world."  
  
"Yes, it's so that the Cave Lion can find me. If I lost it, Creb says I would die. Part of my spirit is in this amulet."  
  
"The biggest part of your spirit is inside you, though. Part of a Mamut or Mog-Ur's strength is manipulating and controlling the spirit world. Some things cannot be controlled; they are too powerful. Other things are easier to control. But another part of training is that of calling together the strength in your own spirit. That will allow you to have more power in the spirit world because your energy is concentrated. Everyone has more spiritual strength than they give themselves credit for."  
  
"Yes, but what does this have to do with my amulet? And Ura?"  
  
"Your amulet is only a small part of your strength. It has great meaning to you, though, and Creb was probably right about what might happen if you lost it. Ura and other people who grieve need to feel what they do, and have time to grieve. There is no cure for grief. Time and support from people around them is something that grieving people need, however."  
  
"I think I knew that already, but I was hoping for a quick answer. I just want to help people heal, but I'm used to dealing with ailments of the body, not of the spirit."  
  
"Would you like training in dealing with the spirit world? We wouldn't have to actually go into the spirit world right away. I have things I could teach you: numbers, sacred symbols, legends."  
  
"If we start with just those things, I think I'd be willing. But I am afraid of going into the spirit world again."  
  
"Again? Ayla, what happened?"  
  
"The mog-urs at the Gathering had been arguing all day over whether to let me make the sacred drink or not. They said I wasn't Iza's true daughter and couldn't possibly know how to make it right. Creb finally convinced them that I was able to make the drink, but by then it was late in the day. I hurried off to wash and paint the symbols for protection on my body. Then I put my clothes back on and returned. By then, the cave bear had been killed and cooked, and his blood had been passed around and shared. The Bear Ceremony is very important, it's one of the main reasons to have the Gathering, to bind the clans together as one under Ursus."  
  
"I was so nervous I didn't eat much. Then came the time for me to make the drink. I got out a special bowl of Iza's and chewed a root to make the drink. Let me get it out of my medicine bag so I can show you the root." She fumbled with some ties, then drew a red-stained pouch out of the otter- skin bag. Mamut looked at her for permission, she nodded, and he took the red bag in his hands. While he examined it, she opened it and drew out a root.  
  
"This red bag is very sacred to you, isn't it. Red is one of the sacred colors, it stands for life, birth, and death. In common use, it also stands for strong feeling, anger, love, or lust. I'm not surprised that the Clan would consider red to be a holy color as well."  
  
"This is the root, Mamut. I had to chew and chew to get it to break down, and I couldn't help but swallow some of the juices. Then I spat into the bowl and stirred with my finger. Creb gave me some datura tea for the Women's Dance when I gave him the datura drink."  
  
She seemed very reluctant to actually describe her experience in the spirit world, choosing instead to dwell on the physical preparations and happenings that led up to that point. He told her, "Go on."  
  
"I saw the bowl that the mog-urs had left outside the cave, with a little in the bottom. It was too sacred to waste, so I drank it. I also drank from the tea and passed it around to the women. We began to dance. I became disoriented and realized that I did not have Iza's bowl. I went into the cave to look for it. I saw the men performing a...ceremony. It was awful, it pushed me over the edge. I screamed, and Creb was suddenly in my mind, helping me to understand."  
  
"What was the ceremony?"  
  
Ayla paused and swallowed hard, nausea churning in her stomach at the memory of what she had seen. "They were eating a man's brain. He died during the Bear Ceremony, and they wanted his strength to pass on to the entire Clan."  
  
"And then Creb comforted you, and he helped you to understand what?"  
  
"The reason for the ceremony. And he took me with him and the other mog- urs, when they went back. Back in time, to the beginnings. I saw and felt the beginnings of life. The Clan and the Others share the same beginnings. But then something happened that upset Creb, and he couldn't follow me anymore. I saw strange things, things that there aren't names for."  
  
"The future?"  
  
"I think so, the far future, long after all this is gone."  
  
"All this...?"  
  
"Life as we know it. One thing about the Others that the Clan doesn't like is that we bring change with us. They don't handle change very well. How will we handle it if the earth itself starts to bring changes, like if the mammoths start disappearing?"  
  
"I don't know, Ayla. Maybe if we all honor and respect the Mother, change will happen slowly enough for us to adapt to it." 


	9. Chapter 9

"Ura, how are you?" Durc asked one morning after breakfast. The two were at the Cooking Hearth having some tea. Everyone was bustling around, trying to decide what to do with their day. A four-day-long winter storm had broken, and the snow was frozen on the steppes.  
  
"I'm fine, Durc. What's wrong?"  
  
"I just wanted to catch you - I mean, ask you if you wanted to go do something, before Deggie or Ranec or Fralie or someone gets your attention. It feels like I haven't spent time with you in quite a while."  
  
"Well, you felt so badly for me when I lost the baby, I figured I'd leave you alone until you got over feeling bad. Why did you feel bad, anyway, it wasn't of your spirit."  
  
"I don't care that it wasn't mine! It's called empathy. I care about you, and I don't like to see you hurting," Durc snapped. Some people looked over from a neighboring hearth, and he tried to calm down.  
  
"Then why are you yelling at me?"  
  
"Because I want to see you, and you're always too busy. It feels like you didn't want me around. I don't like living alone in my hearth; I wish you could join me there. If you will still have me," he said.  
  
"What makes you think that just because I spend time with others means that I will want someone other than you? I spend time with Ranec to learn to carve, he really knows how to express and recognize beauty. Fralie is teaching me to sew, and to decorate things. And Deggie is a friend, and so is Latie. You have nothing to be jealous about."  
  
"I didn't mean to start a fight with you; it just happened. Want to come hunting with me? I wanted to try out one of these new spear points that Wymez made. I'm learning how to make weapons with different materials."  
  
"Sure. I'll get my throwing stick and spears. Maybe I can get some birds with the stick; I've been practicing with Frebec."  
  
*  
  
"Ayla, do you want to learn how to set snares? I thought I'd do that today. The weather is so nice lately, I wonder if we're even going to have another storm," Deggie told her. They were having a last cup of tea after lunch. Tulie had invited Ayla over for lunch, and the rest of Tulie's large family had already dispersed to work on projects. Tarneg and Druwez were working on flint tools with Wymez and Jondalar. Brinan was hunting small game with Tulie's mate Barzec. Tusie and Tronie's daughter Nuvie were off playing.  
  
Ayla got up, thanked Tulie, then set her cup down. "Sure, Deggie. Is Brinan hunting with the sling I made him, by any chance?"  
  
Deggie got up and replied, "Not yet. He's with Barzec, hunting small game with spears. I think you'll need to show Brinan how to use the sling again. I'm not even sure I understand how to use it."  
  
Deggie pulled on her snowshoes, soft socklike leather foot coverings, and thick mammoth hide boots. She started walking with Ayla towards the Mammoth Hearth. She waited while Ayla put on her foot coverings, boots, and snowshoes.  
  
Ayla replied, "I'd be happy to teach you. You are going to show me some more about snares. I don't understand how a leather thong tied a certain way can hunt for you when you're not even there. Won't the animals see it?"  
  
"Not if you put it where they run through fast, or camouflage it with some leaves, brush, or snow. And if you put food or a scent that they like near it, they will be drawn to it."  
  
"Hi Ayla, Deggie. Can I join you?" Latie asked. The girl admired the two women, especially Ayla, and wanted to be like them when she became a woman.  
  
"Sure, Latie, we were just going to go set snares. Better tell Nezzie where you're going, though," Deggie told her.  
  
The three people headed out the entrance after getting their parkas and mittens on. Jondalar looked over from where he was at Wymez's living space and hoped that Ayla was dressed warmly. He was almost as aware of Ayla's daily condition as Ayla herself, and he worried over anything that might pose a threat to her or the child she carried.  
  
*  
  
Three moons after Ayla and Ura's and Oda's First Rites, Mamut gave the women permission to freely associate with the men who shared first rites with them, including sleeping with and moving in with the men. He told the women privately one morning.  
  
When Ayla stepped out of the lodge after donning all her winter gear, she looked at the clear sky and smiled as she breathed the crisp air. Sunlight sparkled off the snow, dazzling her eyes, but she eventually made out the forms of Whinny and Firestone coming towards her.  
  
She patted Whinny's neck and grabbed two teasels to comb ice out of the horses' thick winter coats. Firestone shoved his nose toward Ayla, and sniffed her hands.  
  
"Sorry, no carrots or grain today. I hope you're finding enough food. You don't look thin, you probably just want attention," she told the horse in a mix of Clan signs, animal sounds, and Mamutoi words.  
  
Steps crunched in the snow behind her, and she turned to see Jondalar. The hood of his parka was thrown back. He smiled at her, and grabbed one teasel from her hand, and went to work on Firestone's coat.  
  
"So, how are you feeling?" he asked, looking over at her.  
  
"Fine. I'm about six or seven moons along, I should give birth in early spring. But you should know that, I see you looking over at me everyday from your place at Tronie's hearth. You won't have to live there anymore if you don't want to, Mamut said I could associate with you freely now."  
  
"Great, can I move in today?"  
  
"Sure, if that's what you want. Those moons after First Rites, I always hated seeing you leave after we shared Pleasures at night."  
  
He nodded, and went back to combing the coat of the now full-grown horse. The male horse seemed restless, and Jondalar had an idea why. He spoke up. "Ayla, I think Whinny is trying to go into season."  
  
"It can't be, it's too soon. She went into season last spring in the Valley. Maybe she's just maturing some more."  
  
"Well, Firestone is certainly restless. Maybe we should tie him away from his sister for a while, just to be safe."  
  
"The horses haven't ever been restrained. Would you restrain Durc's lynx, too?"  
  
"No, there's no reason to. We don't have to tie them all the time, just when they rest at night. Otherwise, they range around and eat grass and things."  
  
"I'll think about it. I'm going to be spending some time with Tronie today. She wants to start talking to Durc to prepare him for manhood training at the summer meeting, but wanted to get my permission and some information about how the Clan thinks about Pleasures. She told me the other day that she was thinking of being a redfoot, and would train him herself if no one else was willing."  
  
"That's good. Durc wants to take care of Ura, and for them to mate he has to be a man. He's getting very good with working the flint; I'm glad Wymez and I can teach him. Rydag isn't bad at flintknapping, either. Rydag has strength enough to work with flint, but he doesn't have the endurance to hunt."  
  
"Hunting isn't the only thing that makes a man," Ayla said, thinking of Creb. "Is he upset by the fact that he can't hunt?"  
  
"Yes, very. He only says it's something to do with those Clan memories. Maybe you should talk to him, help him understand."  
  
"I'll do that today, too. See you tonight, Jondalar." She kissed him on the cheek, rubbed Whinny's nose, and headed back towards the lodge.  
  
Jondalar thanked Tronie for her hospitality in letting him live at her hearth for a time, then explained that he was moving to Ayla's hearth. He had his arms full of his things when Thonolan walked by and swatted him on the arm.  
  
"Hey, Little Brother, help me move these things, will you?"  
  
"Where to, Wymez's flint hearth? You spend all your time there," Thonolan teased, then grinned and headed over to Ayla's space. Thonolan put most of the things down on the floor, figuring Jondalar and Ayla would put things where they wanted them later, and dropped the sleeping furs on Ayla's bed.  
  
Jondalar sat on an empty bed platform. "Thanks, Thonolan. Seriously, are you finding enough things to do here?"  
  
"Yeah, why do you ask?"  
  
"Well, it seems like you sit around doing nothing most of the time."  
  
"I'm alright, Jondalar. I make my own spears, and carve things in wood, and hunt, and do other things. I still miss Jetamio, though. There's no woman for me here to meet even if I wanted one."  
  
"I'm sorry. I've been so busy with everything that I kind of forgot about you."  
  
"It's no problem. I'm not your kid brother anymore, you don't have to entertain me. I'll probably find someone to spend time with at the Summer Meeting. Hey, I heard Tronie's going to be talking to Ayla about Durc today, and we should stay out of the hearth."  
  
"How'd you hear that?"  
  
"Tronie told all the people in the hearth this morning, after you left. She wanted me to let you know, since you were busy running after Ayla."  
  
*  
  
Later that day, the two brothers went hunting. Tronie welcomed Ayla in and offered some tea, then they sat on some mats on the floor.  
  
Tronie looked at Ayla, then said, "Will you be able to get up? Sorry, I should have thought. When you're that far along, it's hard to get up from the floor."  
  
"It's alright, I don't have problems with dizziness anymore. Where's Nuvie and Hartel?"  
  
"They're with Latie and Rugie." She paused, then added, "I didn't ask you to come here to give me permission. Durc can give that himself, he's living at Fox Hearth in his own space. I just wanted to get to know what the Clan believe, in case Durc's memories that you say he has interfere with what I'm trying to teach him. I won't be doing any of the actual physical training, but I will be talking to him quite a bit. What are some beliefs that the Clan has about women, and Pleasures?"  
  
"How do I begin...The Clan believe that women have to be dominated, and have to have decisions made for them. For me, being humble and acting like I was in awe of the men's power to hunt and to participate in the spiritual things was just pretending, but the Clan women obviously felt it."  
  
"This seems so odd, but I guess since they don't believe in the Mother, what do they have to revere except totems and male power?"  
  
"They don't believe in the Mother, but they do know something about who has the real power. They don't allow women in the spirit world or in ceremonies, because women are more powerful there. Mamut taught me about the power of women as part of my training."  
  
Ayla paused, then continued, "As for Pleasures, the Clan doesn't have any First Rites, and the men are allowed to take any female that they want, except for their sister or mother. Men only have to ask permission if the woman is mated, especially if the woman is the leader's mate. The only man that did that with me in the Clan was harsh, but I don't think all Clan men are that way. Goov, the one who is now Mog-Ur, was kind to Ovra, even though she couldn't have children. That probably extended to activities under the furs, as well. And Crug was nice to Ika, his mate, and shared Pleasures - they call it relieving needs - often. In the Clan a boy only receives training in hunting, and hunting is the thing that makes him a man."  
  
"But how do the Clan - I mean, how is it different? The Pleasures, I mean," Tronie asked.  
  
"Well, a man makes this sign" she made it, and blushed. "The woman kneels on hands and knees and presents herself."  
  
"That's it, that's all they do? Poor women, they must know no pleasure at all," Tronie commented.  
  
"I never wanted it, but Clan women do, because they have mannerisms and postures that attract men's attention and let them know they are ready for pleasures."  
  
"Well, I wouldn't want to be a clan woman, but at least I have an idea of things that might come up while I'm talking to him."  
  
*  
  
Wymez looked up and smiled, then said, "Oda, hello. Where's Jondalar, I thought he and I were going to be flintknapping today."  
  
"He's with Ayla, he's moving into her space in the hearth today. Mamut told Ura and Ayla and I that we could associate freely with the men we shared First Rites with now. May I sit down?"  
  
"Sure. Since Jondalar isn't going to be showing up until later, would you want some tea? I just started the fire a while ago."  
  
"No, just water, thanks."  
  
"Are you nervous about something?"  
  
"Yes. I've been thinking about things lately. Where I'll be in a few years, whether I'll find a mate again, that kind of thing."  
  
"Why not stay with the Mamutoi?"  
  
"Well, we thought we were going to stay until Ayla's baby is born, but now Durc seems to be settling in quite well, and Rydag likes him, too. And something else, too, that I've been wanting to tell you."  
  
"Oh? Well, my hearth is relatively empty, with just Ranec and Durc staying in it. Why not join my hearth?"  
  
"I'd be glad to. Your hearth looks like it needs some taking care of," Oda said, eying the pile of dishes on a crushed mat in the corner of the hearth.  
  
Wymez smiled ruefully, "This place really doesn't look that great, does it? I get absentminded when I'm working. Now what did you want to tell me?"  
  
"I'm Blessed, and I think it might be of your spirit."  
  
He had been about to get up to fill his cup with water, but sat down heavily. "What? Are you sure? I don't know if I'll be able to help you take care of a baby, I was a very young man when Ranec was born."  
  
"I'm very sure. You'd be old for a Clan man, you're probably about thirty years old. Ayla's been learning the numbers when she takes lessons with Mamut, and she taught me."  
  
"You've been thinking about me. I thought you forgot all about how I made you feel that night, you gave no sign of your feelings when you saw me after that."  
  
"You weren't looking very hard for signs, then. A Clan man would have been able to tell more than he probably would want to know about how I was feeling."  
  
"Do gestures really say that much? I know some Clan signs, to talk to Rydag, but I can't do what Durc does. He and Durc flash signs back and forth so quickly I can't follow what they're saying. Well, I'm sure you can teach me when you move in. Let's go to Nezzie's hearth and get your things." 


	10. Chapter 10

"Well, I obviously won't be going on the first spring hunt," Ayla was saying to Jondalar as they stood in the entrance to the lodge. She was near to delivering, and very uncomfortable.  
  
"I know. I'll try to get a bison with a fetus, with fur you can use for baby clothes. Just stay here with Frebec, Fralie, Crozie, Nezzie, and all the children. If your or Fralie's time comes, tell one of them to get on one of the horses and ride to where we are, to alert us." With that, he embraced her and then left to join Durc, who was going on his first Mamutoi hunt to test his ability to become a man.  
  
Ura stood proudly beside Durc, hoping her friend would get a bison and become that much closer to becoming a man. The first step had been the conversations with Tronie, the second was a spring hunt. The third would be the lessons in Pleasures with a redfoot at the Summer Meeting. Only then would the mamutii acknowledge Durc's change in status.  
  
Ayla reached out a hand and captured Durc's hand in her own. She was concerned for the safety of her son, and secretly passed something to him from her amulet. Durc looked at the rock. It was the clump of iron pyrite, the sign that her totem had given her when he was born, but he didn't know that. He wanted to ask her what it meant, but shrugged and put it in his own amulet for the time being, deciding to ask her later.  
  
*  
  
"Are you sure we're going to be able to get the bison in the surround?" Jondalar asked Talut.  
  
"Well, it's too bad Ayla and the horses can't help, but I think we'll do fine without them. Deggie, Tarneg, and Tornec are waiting where the bison are, with clothes and things to spook the animals. Me, you, Thonolan, Wymez, Ranec, and Barzec have to set up part of the surround. We use this surround every year, but some parts have to be rebuilt. Durc can help too."  
  
"Why on earth did Frebec stay home?" Tulie asked irritably. "He could have seen fit to come along and help."  
  
"Remember how Barzec was when you were about ready to deliver Tarneg? It isn't Fralie's first, but I think all men get anxious," Tronie replied, grunting as she hefted a heavy section of mammoth tusk into position to serve as a support for the surround. "I'm more surprised Jondalar is here, the way he dotes on Ayla," she continued in a lower tone. Tulie nodded, and moved to help her maneuver another piece into position.  
  
They set up a fence leading to the surround, and added more supports to the surround. Then they waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, they heard a loud thundering noise. The animals were stampeding.  
  
*  
  
"I got one!!" Durc whooped when he saw his spear land where he aimed it. The female bison was not large, but it was enough for a few good-sized pieces of fur. In the next shot he got a bawling calf that was near the female.  
  
After all the bison in the surround were dispatched, the hunters started forward to claim their own kills. Jondalar slapped Durc on the shoulder in congratulations as he went to claim his own kills, then stopped in his tracks when he saw something out of the corner of his eye.  
  
Frebec was there, hanging half on and half off the back of Whinney. He slid off, and the mare snorted at him and stepped aside. He ran over, then stood for a minute, out of breath.  
  
"Frebec, what is it?" Talut and Jondalar snapped at the same time. Talut was concerned about his people in general, and was worried about an emergency. Jondalar was concerned for the one he considered as his mate.  
  
"It's Ayla," he told them. "She's in labor, and Fralie is worried. She knows a little, and so does Nezzie, but Ayla is afraid. She needs you, I think, Jondalar. Tronie, you come, too."  
  
"She's in labor? Do you have any idea how long?" the woman asked. She was free to leave. She hadn't made a kill, but had been assigned to watch for stragglers or potentially dangerous bison.  
  
"Tronie, I'll keep watch for scavengers while we're butchering the animals. I was planning on doing that, anyway," Durc told her.  
  
"Good. Deggie, Tarneg, you watch with Durc and make sure the scavengers are kept under control," Talut ordered.  
  
The ones mentioned took their places with spears, and Durc had his sling ready as well as a spear. Tornec, who had also been one of the people to stir the animals into stampeding, helped the people that weren't watching for scavengers to butcher the bison.  
  
Jondalar rode Whinney with Tronie hanging on for dear life behind him. He jumped off and nearly ran into Fralie, who was standing in the entrance.  
  
"Jondalar. Good, Frebec was able to find you. She's frightened, she's at Mamut's hearth. Mamut and Nezzie are with her, too." Jondalar nodded and walked past her.  
  
Mamut was looking deeply into Ayla's eyes, seeing her fear and trying to will her to calm down. Nezzie was anxiously checking some tea that she had going. Ayla was lying down on a platform on a fur and covered up with another. She relaxed when she saw Jondalar.  
  
Tronie headed over to where Nezzie was still fussing with the tea, and asked about Ayla's symptoms. Ayla looked over to where Tronie was and beckoned her over.  
  
"I'm better, I'm not too far along in labor yet. I'm just afraid...my first delivery was very painful. I almost died, and it hurt so much, but it was worth it," Ayla said, then grimaced as she felt another contraction. She continued, "Mamut did something to calm my spirit, and seeing Jondalar helped me feel better, too."  
  
When Ayla had obviously calmed down and her labor appeared to be progressing faster, Nezzie shooed Jondalar out of the hearth. He went and plopped down on a spare bed platform, feeling useless. Frebec came over a few minutes later.  
  
"I wasn't around when Crisavec was born. Fralie thinks she will be having another boy this time around. I'm so worried about her, I don't know what to expect. I can't say I know how you feel, though."  
  
"What you just said helped, though. I'm glad you gave her a chance, and didn't keep her from being adopted. Ayla means a lot to me. I love her very much, and I don't know what I'd do if I lost her."  
  
They sat for a while more, talking about unimportant things, their conversation interrupted by Ayla's cries.  
  
Unnoticed by them, Crozie woke from a nap at Fralie's hearth and walked over to Mammoth Hearth see what the commotion was.  
  
She stepped out a moment later, cradling two squirming babies. "It's twins!" she crowed.  
  
Jondalar walked forward to look at the babies. Crozie smiled at him, and said, "You can't see Ayla yet, they are cleaning her up. The babies are a boy and a girl."  
  
"You'd think Ayla was your daughter, the way you reacted," Jondalar teased as he took the one of the children.  
  
Crozie shrugged and said, "All new life is precious. That one you're holding is the girl. Be careful for her head, the spot on top where her hair is sensitive."  
  
"She's beautiful," Jondalar said, holding the baby carefully. Her eyes were a deep shade, the color of all newborn's eyes, and there was the beginning of fuzzy hair on her head. He gave her back to Crozie.  
  
"And here's the boy," Crozie told him.  
  
Jondalar took the boy and looked into his face. Ayla's newest son looked somewhat like Durc, and somewhat not. He could see where Ayla's influence was, and he thought he could see traces of his own spirit's influence in the lines of the boy's face. The boy's indistinct eyes, of course, wouldn't change to their true color for a few moons.  
  
*  
  
After making sure that Ayla was okay, Jondalar went to get Durc, who was standing close to Ura, speaking in Clan gestures with her.  
  
"Sorry to intrude, Durc, Ura, but I think there is someone Durc will want to meet."  
  
Ura nodded, and backed away, but kissed Durc on the cheek before she left. She hadn't made a kill, but was pleased that Durc had. She liked him, and was happy that he was closer to being a Mamutoi man. In her heart, she considered him to be a man, since he now had made a kill, which would elevate him to manhood status in the Clan. She had been flirting a little with him, and ensured that the conversation was private by using gestures.  
  
Durc followed Jondalar to the place where Ayla was lying down, nursing the babies. His eyes widened when he saw the two babies, and he looked at his mother and smiled.  
  
"How did you do on the hunt?" she asked.  
  
"I got a mother and her calf. You can have the skins to make clothes for the babies if you want. What are they? Have you picked out names yet?"  
  
"They are a boy and girl. The girl was first. Durc, I have to tell you something."  
  
"What, Mama? Are you all right, you sound very tired. Why don't we talk later, when you're rested..."  
  
She interrupted. "No, I'm fine. I have to tell you why I gave you the stone from my amulet. Since you are so close to being a man, it is yours now. When you were born, I was close to death. Iza thought you were deformed, and wanted me to get rid of you. I know that sounds harsh. I couldn't do it, and ran away. I stayed alone with you for almost seven days, and while I was alone with you, I was speaking to my totem. He left me that rock, a sign and a promise that you would live. Then when I left the Clan, Broud wanted me to leave you behind, but I couldn't. I love you, my son, and you will always be my first child, who I almost lost."  
  
"It's in my amulet. I'll keep it with me always. Thank you, Mother." With that, Durc hugged her.  
  
She handed him the babies, and he held them and looked at them, noting the similarities and differences between the baby boy and himself. After a while, he went back to his place at Fox Hearth.  
  
*  
  
"Ayla, how are you feeling? Can I see the babies?" Mamut asked, looking at her. She sat on her sleeping platform, with the sleeping babies wrapped lightly in furs beside her on the bed. It was midafternoon, and not many people were in the earthlodge. Fralie was at her own hearth, talking with Ura and some other women.  
  
"It's been five days since their birth. They're asleep right now, but maybe if we wait for a while they will wake up. They've certainly been keeping me and Jondalar up nights, but then, Durc kept me awake some nights, too, when he was first born."  
  
"Are you overly tired? If you want to sleep, I can leave and come back later."  
  
"No, I'm fine. I know how to take care of myself."  
  
"I don't doubt that you do, but even medicine women are only human. Speaking of that, when would you want to begin mamut training again?"  
  
She paused for a minute. She had quit training a week before her delivery, since she had been too uncomfortable and restless to sit still for long periods. "As long as I don't have to do anything heavily physical for at least a moon, we can begin again as soon as I start to feel rested. Why are you so insistent on me beginning training again?"  
  
"Don't you want to learn about the spirit world? You can be a mother and Serve the spirits, too. There's no prohibitation about having children while serving the Mother."  
  
"I know, I just want to have enough time for everything. Oops, my little girl's awake." She picked up the baby and held her in her lap.  
  
After the baby seemed reasonably awake, Mamut reached for her. He held her carefully, supporting her head and looking into her unfocused eyes. A picture flashed in his mind, an image of a little girl running towards a group of Clan people, holding out her hands. He squinted, and shook his head, then handed the baby back to Ayla.  
  
"What's wrong?" Ayla asked. The baby boy felt the absence of his sister, who had been beside him, and woke up, fussing.  
  
She held the baby against her shoulder, stroking his back until he quieted. Then she handed him to Mamut. Mamut sensed a different destiny for this child, but couldn't see anything clearly. He had a suspicion that the Mother was hiding it from him for a reason.  
  
"It's nothing, Ayla. I didn't mean to bother you, I just wanted to see when you wanted to have them named. For naming, the mother of the babies always gets to choose when they are named, but it's considered courteous for her to discuss actual names with her mate, or her partner if they are not mated."  
  
"In two days. I still remember Durc's naming, it was seven days after his birth. I was never more happy than at that moment."  
  
Mamut smiled. "You'll have to tell me more about that ceremony. I'd be happy to name the children in Clan style, if you like."  
  
"I'm interested in Mamutoi ceremonies, too. How about Clan style, and then Mamutoi style, if that wouldn't be too much trouble."  
  
"It would be interesting to see the differences between the two ceremony styles. How about names, have you and Jondalar talked about that yet?"  
  
"No, we still need to discuss that. I'll let you know tomorrow night." 


End file.
